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Should employers set aside time during the day for their employees to exercise? What might be some of advantages or disadvantages?

Should employers set aside time during the day for their employees to exercise? What might be some of advantages or disadvantages? 5agdp
It is thought that employers should give some extra time which is for their employees to exercise during the work day. This idea can be nice and benefit for both bosses and workers. However, this opinion can bring about some disadvantages as well as advantages. First and foremost, the break time for exercise in a work day is good for physical health of workers in any sector which includes the employees working with heavy work load or sedentary employees. For example, in Turkey, people often work between 8 am and 5 pm, and they just break for 1 hour to have lunch in the middle of the day. If some extra time except lunch time for physical activity is given, it can be nice for workers’ health. They can walk around the company, or they can go to gym centers. These activities help to increase the productivity of employees because they have more healthy bodies. In addition, these activities can help also that people break mentally. Fresh mind works well. On the other hand, rush hours may be late as work time remains stable. Thus, bosses don’t want to short cut daily work time therefore, workers must leave from their works late. Especially, it led that people can’t benefit enough from daylight in the winters. It also affects family life, which working parents can’t take enough time for their children. In conclusion, setting aside time during work days for all kinds of workers have a positive on not only employees in terms of both mental and physical health, while there are drawbacks on rush times affecting employees.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that employers should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which is for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to exercise during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
can be nice and benefit for both bosses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
However
, this opinion can bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
as well
as advantages.

First
and foremost, the break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for exercise in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for physical health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in any sector which includes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
working with heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
load or sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
For example
, in Turkey,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
between 8 am and 5 pm, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
break for 1 hour to have lunch in the middle of the day. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
except lunch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for physical activity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, it can be nice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers’
health. They can walk around the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, or they can go to gym centers. These activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase the productivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have more healthy bodies.
In addition
, these activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
also
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
break mentally. Fresh mind works well.

On the other hand
, rush hours may be late as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
remains stable.
Thus
, bosses don’t want to short
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
from their works late.
Especially
, it led that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can’t benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
from daylight in the winters. It
also
affects family life, which working parents can’t take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their children.

In conclusion
, setting aside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
days for all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in terms of both mental and physical health, while there are drawbacks on rush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
affecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
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IELTS essay Should employers set aside time during the day for their employees to exercise? What might be some of advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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