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What can these people do to become healther?

What can these people do to become healther? 0l9B5
There are several methods solutions that can be taken to have a healthy life. The most important is that people have to cut down on takeaways and processed food or readily-made meals instead of promoting eat fresh food and nutritious process. This leads to ensuring enough for their minerals and vital vitamin, which is an essential condition for humans to have a healthy body and mind. Added to this is the fact that, humans spend a large amount of time on gentle exercise as opposed to using technological devices. For instance, people are more likely to expend 30 minutes every day running or doing excise. This contributes to improving endurance, better blood circulation and strengthen a person’s fitness in general. Besides that, the people are living at a hectic pace of life so they must manage their time, potentially leading to balance their work and personal life. In other words, They are more inclined to have time to cook, work out, sleep and pursue their interests, which make them become more positive and love themselves.
There are several methods solutions that can
be taken
to have a healthy life.

The most
important
is that
people
have to
cut
down on takeaways and processed food or
readily
-made meals
instead
of promoting eat fresh food and nutritious process. This leads to ensuring
enough
for their minerals and vital vitamin, which is an essential condition for humans to have a healthy body and mind.

Added
to this is the fact that, humans spend a large amount of time on gentle exercise as opposed to using technological devices.
For instance
,
people
are more likely to expend 30 minutes every day running or doing excise. This contributes to improving endurance, better blood circulation and strengthen a person’s fitness
in general
.

Besides
that, the
people
are living at a hectic pace of life
so
they
must
manage their time,
potentially
leading to balance their work and personal life.
In other words
, They are more inclined to have time to cook, work out, sleep and pursue their interests, which
make
them become more
positive
and
love
themselves.
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IELTS essay What can these people do to become healther?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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