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What are your views on the question, “Should people convicted of minor crimes do community service rather than go to prison?”

What are your views on the question, “Should people convicted of minor crimes do community service rather than go to prison? ” 7rpKA
Recently, giving punishments to criminals who have different crimes is a furious debate. Some people assume that going to prison is a heavy penalty for those who are convicted of minor crimes, hence, they should do community instead. In contrast, some argue prison is essential to punish them. I firmly believe criminals with minor crimes should have a lighter punishment compare to serious criminals. To begin with, minor offenders doing community service remain part of normal society. first of all, it is necessary for providing education and vocational training for minor crimes such as shoplifting or pickpocketing. Creating a new living environment can help them keep their jobs, live at home with their families leading to a decrease in crime rates. For instance, an offender who is released from prison has opportunities to mingle with the community, therefore, they can be aware of their wrongdoing and tackle it gradually. On the other hand, community services can save taxpayers money for the government. While community service costs little, prisons are costly to run and the authorities can not manage the number of prisoners every day. For example, people who commit crimes may escape from prisons whenever because of the lack of jailers. In other words, lawbreakers can own a stable job for living resulting in improvements of the national economy. On the contrary, offenders working for the community may pose a threat to society. Unfortunately, criminals can take part in unlawful acts again and commit crimes as a way of making a living because they think that society will not accept them. What is more, they can take revenge on someone who accused them. To sum up, although some people claim minor criminals should be received prison sentences. I am still in favor of the perspective that doing community services is a good way for changing their behaviors.
Recently, giving punishments to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is a furious debate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assume that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is a heavy penalty for those
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who
are convicted
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
hence
, they should do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
instead
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is essential to punish them. I
firmly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should have a lighter punishment compare to serious criminals.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
offenders doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
remain part of normal society.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, it is necessary for providing education and vocational training for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as shoplifting or
Possible spelling mistake found.
pickpocketing
. Creating a new living environment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their jobs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at home with their families leading to a decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.
For instance
, an offender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
has opportunities to mingle with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
,
therefore
, they can be aware of their wrongdoing and tackle it
gradually
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
can save taxpayers money for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
are costly to run and the authorities can not manage the number of prisoners every day.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
may escape from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
whenever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of jailers.
In other words
, lawbreakers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a stable job for living resulting in improvements of the national economy.

On the contrary
, offenders working for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
may pose a threat to society. Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in unlawful acts again and commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as a way of making a living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that society will not accept them.
What is more
, they can take revenge on someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
accused them.

To sum up, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be received
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences. I am
still
in favor of the perspective that doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for changing their behaviors.
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IELTS essay What are your views on the question, “Should people convicted of minor crimes do community service rather than go to prison? ”

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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