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What are the problems with public transport?

What are the problems with public transport? 7Wgb6
First and foremost, there are a myriad of hazardous issues with employing a bus as commonplace public transport. Inflexible schedule is a case in point. In effect, the bus is a kind of vehicle that runs on a fixed timetable. As a result, people travelling outside of business hours cannot reap benefits from it. Take myself as a typical example. It was during summertime that I travelled to Bangkok last year. After a long day getting a suntan on the beach, I decided to take a book to visit the night market with a view to enjoying the wonderful atmosphere until 3 am when it closed. Nonetheless, I was unaware that the first bus did not begin running until 5 am. As a result, I had to wander around for two hours while waiting for the bus so that I could come back to my hotel. So now, I realize that having my own vehicle will allow me more control over my travelling plans. What is more, because of the reasonable price of using the bus, this can attract a good many passengers using this kind of public transport. For some people, this will undoubtedly create an unpleasant environment on the bus. As a student, I have been taking the bus for three years so I am relatively familiar with it. However, there are a considerable number of people on the bus during summer rush hours. It makes me feel scorching and stuffy. Besides, many people have body odour so I also throw up at least one time. I always wish for the trip to be over as quickly as possible since I cannot stand the awful odour on the bus.
First
and foremost, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of hazardous issues with employing a bus as commonplace public transport. Inflexible schedule is a case in point. In effect, the bus is a kind of vehicle that runs on a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
timetable.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
business hours cannot reap benefits from it. Take myself as a typical example. It was during
Consider using "summer".
summertime
that I travelled to Bangkok last year. After a long day getting a suntan on the beach, I decided to take a book to visit the night market with a view to enjoying the wonderful atmosphere until 3 am when it closed. Nonetheless, I was unaware that the
first
bus did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
running until 5 am.
As a result
, I had to wander around for two hours while waiting for the bus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to my hotel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I realize that having my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicle will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me more control over my travelling plans.

What is more
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reasonable price of using the bus, this can attract a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
passengers using this kind of public transport. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, this will
undoubtedly
create an unpleasant environment on the bus. As a student, I have been taking the bus for three years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am
relatively
familiar with it.
However
, there are a considerable number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the bus during summer rush hours. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me feel scorching and stuffy.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have body odour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
also
throw up at least one time. I always wish for the trip to be over as
quickly
as possible since I cannot stand the awful
Possible spelling mistake. 'odour' is British English.
odour
on the bus.
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IELTS essay What are the problems with public transport?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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