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what are the problems that students with visual impairments get and what should we do to help them

what are the problems that students with visual impairments get and what should we do to help them 3WOdX
Nowadays, while a variety of students have a good education environment, there are several students with visual impairments who cannot fully participate in school and are often left behind. What can we do to help them overcome their problems? First of all, many non-disabled people and the handicapped should work and enjoy time together. For example, we may form groups for numerous students with visual impairments and normal students so that we can get know them better and help them not feel lonely. When working in groups with a friendly atmosphere, they will feel integrated and respected so as to confidently promoting unlocking their talents in activities. Moreover, non-disabled students will recognize that students with disabilities become important part of study groups gradually. Secondly, people should pay more attentions to students with visual impairments to know what they need. At schools, students with visual impairments have lots of writing problems. Therefore, we should provide them specialized materials and tools such as Braille or large print books and talking computers, materials with large print. This stuff can help these students, who are unable to see, write and read knowledge in class so they can catch up with learning progress and non-disabled students in class. In addition, students with visual impairments tackle discrimination. It means, non-disabled students usually treat the disabled unfairly and have negative attitudes towards them because they think these students are unusual like them. Students with non-disabled sometimes hide something of handicapped students even students with visual impairments can be easy to be pushed by non-disabled ones. In short, all people should create more opportunities for students with visual impairments to unlock their talents so that they will be more confident and powerful to integrate into the community. We should sympathize and look for these students because they are the same as us, they want to be loved and cared for.
Nowadays, while a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education environment, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impairments
who cannot
fully
participate in school and are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind.

What can we do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them overcome their problems?
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
non-disabled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the handicapped should work and enjoy time together.
For example
, we may form groups for numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impairments
and normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
know them better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them not feel lonely. When working in groups with a friendly atmosphere, they will feel integrated and respected
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
confidently
promoting unlocking their talents in activities.
Moreover
, non-disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will recognize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with disabilities become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of study groups
gradually
.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should pay more attentions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impairments
to know what they need. At schools,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impairments
have lots of writing problems.
Therefore
, we should provide them specialized materials and tools such as Braille or large print books and talking computers, materials with large print. This stuff can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, write and read knowledge in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can catch up with learning progress and non-disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impairments
tackle discrimination. It means, non-disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
usually
treat the disabled
unfairly
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitudes towards them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are unusual like them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
with non-disabled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
something of handicapped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impairments
can be easy to
be pushed
by non-disabled ones.

In short, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should create more opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impairments
to unlock their talents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will be more confident and powerful to integrate into the community. We should sympathize and look for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the same as us, they want to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
and cared for.
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IELTS essay what are the problems that students with visual impairments get and what should we do to help them

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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