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What are the problems of child abuse. What can be done to prevent this?

What are the problems of child abuse. What can be done to prevent this? kYwXn
One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is the colossal upsurge in the child abuse. There is a widespread worry that this will only lead to a myriad of concerns in the society. In my opinion, child abuse has more negative impacts than positives in the society. On the one hand, critics may point out that one of the most significant problems of child abuse is that it affects their mental stability. For example, children unlike in the past now have mental stability issues as they were ill treated by their guardians. On the other hand, there are a number of arguments in favor of my stance. One of the most preponderant ones is that controlling child abuse has some solutions for the community in various ways. Firstly, parents should give children quality care because children’s early age is important for development. According to "Times magazine December 2017 edition", the proportion of quality care has increased from 10 percent to 90 percent today. Secondly, a large portion of the parents should not indulge in alcoholism because that affects their parenting skills. Lastly, in my opinion, the government of Australia is taking a great initiative in educating its parent population on the impact of child abuse. Parents are being encouraged to spend a significant portion of their time in communication with their child openly. In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that despite having some problems, the solutions for child abuse in society are indeed too dire to ignored.
One of the most conspicuous trends of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world is the colossal upsurge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
. There is a widespread worry that this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead to a myriad of concerns in the society. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts than positives in the society.

On the one hand, critics may point out that one of the most significant problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
is that it affects their mental stability.
For example
, children unlike in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have mental stability issues as they were
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ill treated
by their guardians.

On the other hand
, there are a number of arguments in favor of my stance. One of the most preponderant ones is that controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for the community in various ways.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should give children quality care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children’s early age is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for development. According to
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Times magazine December 2017 edition
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, the proportion of quality care has increased from 10 percent to 90 percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Secondly
, a large portion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not indulge in alcoholism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that affects their parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Lastly
, in my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Australia is taking a great initiative in educating its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
population on the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are
being encouraged
to spend a significant portion of their time in communication with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
openly
.

In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems, the solutions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
in society are
indeed
too dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
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IELTS essay What are the problems of child abuse. What can be done to prevent this?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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