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What are the possible effects of living long?

What are the possible effects of living long? x01kQ
In developed world, the average life expectancy is increasing dramatically as a result of advanced medical technology. Longevity seems to be a good thing but it also caused a lot of problems. The advantages from life expectancy can be seen from both individuals and the society. As for society, longevity allows people to contribute more to the community beacause old people who have many years of experience could continuously work instead of having retirements. In some cases, senior citizen tend to find a non- physically demanding jobs, therefore, there could be an increase in labor source. As for individuals, they spend most of their life working and taking care of their family. So it is sense that people deserve a healthy and peaceful old age after the amount of paid work. . On the other hand, with parents living longer, children can have more time to stay with and show filial respect to them. So longevity helps to promote the harmonious relationship among family members. On the contrary, there are some problems related to this issue. The most significant concern is associated with medical problems which place a heavy burden on many nation’s health systems. In other words, as life expectancy increases, it entails many age-related chronic diseases such as diabetes, articulation disorders or Dementia. As a result, the demand for geriatricians and medicals supplies soars, posing challenges to many country. In addition, senior citizens are often faced with outliving their savings. Evidence suggests that retiree spend a significant portion of their saving on travelling and entertaintment since their saving could not enough to pay for the ever- increasing heathcare costs. Overall, although, longer life expectancy puts burden on the society. the benefits both people and the world can get from the phenomenon of people living longer are irreplaceable and undeniable. It is the truth that longevity is a symbol of civilization and better life.
In developed world, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is increasing
dramatically
as a result
of advanced medical technology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Longevity
seems to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems.

The advantages from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from both individuals and the society. As for society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longevity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to contribute more to the community
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of experience could
continuously
work
instead
of having retirements. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, senior citizen tend to find a non-
physically
demanding jobs,
therefore
, there could be an increase in labor source. As for individuals, they spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
working and taking care of their family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is sense that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deserve a healthy and peaceful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age after the amount of paid work.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
On the other hand
, with parents living longer, children can have more time to stay with and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
filial respect to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longevity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to promote the harmonious relationship among family members.
On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems related to this issue. The most significant concern
is associated
with medical problems which place a heavy burden on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nation’s health systems.
In other words
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy increases, it entails
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
age-related chronic diseases such as diabetes, articulation disorders or Dementia.
As a result
, the demand for geriatricians and medicals supplies soars, posing challenges to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
country.
In addition
, senior citizens are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
faced with outliving their savings. Evidence suggests
The verb 'spend' is plural. Did you mean: "that retiree spends"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that retiree spend
a significant portion of their saving on travelling and
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertaintment
since their saving could not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to pay for the ever- increasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
heathcare
costs.

Overall
, although, longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy puts burden on the society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
benefits both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the world can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from the phenomenon of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living longer are irreplaceable and undeniable. It is the truth that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longevity
is a symbol of civilization and better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay What are the possible effects of living long?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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