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What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? XBPr
Water is an essential commodity for everyone. In today's Industraliazed world water used in many activities by humans. On the other hand animals are also dependent on this natures gift. While this Industrial revolution has increased the water pollution that has affected the world due to which majority of problems has arised. Water is used on a large scale in day to day activities. Firstly, it is used in our daily lives. People's used them in bathing and washing clothes. In manufacturing companies water is used for variety of tasks like purifying and cleaning. For illustration the leather companies used water for removing the dirt before creating the end product. In this process thousand of litres water is mixed with the water that contains the harmful chemicals that is flown into the sewer. Secondly, their no proper filtartion system. The water which is used on daily basis is not purified and contains the contaminated susbstances that get mixed within sea. If water is polluted that will affect the humans and marine life. In order to explain this water pollution is the main reason of the death. For intsance, In india ganga is the biggest river which is the home of thosand of marine species but on the shore of ganga there are companies which flow the infected water into the river. As a result thousands of fishes has died creating a imbalance in the ecological system. Aditionally, that water is used by the animals and humans for drinking pupose due to whic cancer is the new disease which is on rise in india. In my point there a number of reasons for the water contamination and science has advanced itslef that we can filter. What if there is no water pollution? If this happens the outbreak of the water disease like cholera and typhoid will be removed. I think if the govern and people work together seriously against these problem we can tackle it an making earth a great place to live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
is an essential commodity for everyone. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
Possible spelling mistake found.
Industraliazed
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities by humans.

On the other hand
animals are
also
dependent on this natures gift.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
this Industrial revolution has increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution that has

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the world due to which majority of problems has
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "arose", the past tense form of the verb 'arise'?
arised
.

Water is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on a large scale in day to day activities.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
them in bathing and washing clothes. In manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for variety of tasks like purifying and cleaning.

For illustration the leather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for removing the dirt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
creating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
product.

In this process
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'litres' is British English.
litres
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is mixed
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
that contains the harmful chemicals that
is flown
into the sewer.

Secondly
, their no proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
filtartion
system. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on daily basis is not purified and contains the contaminated
Possible spelling mistake found.
susbstances
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mixed within sea.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is polluted
that will affect the humans and marine life. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution is the main reason of the death. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
intsance
, In
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
Possible spelling mistake found.
ganga
is the biggest river which is the home of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thosand
of marine species
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the shore of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ganga
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which flow the infected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
into the river.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result thousands of fishes has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
creating
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
imbalance in the ecological system.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aditionally
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the animals and humans for drinking
Possible spelling mistake found.
pupose
due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
whic
cancer is the new disease which is on rise in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
.

In my point there a number of reasons for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contamination and science has advanced
Possible spelling mistake found.
itslef
that we can filter. What if there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution? If this happens the outbreak of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
disease like cholera and typhoid will
be removed
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'govern' is correct. If 'govern' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the govern
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work together
seriously
against
Did you mean "this problem" or "these problems"?
these problem
we can tackle it
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
making earth a great place to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
live
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IELTS essay What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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