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In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. 33an
Smoking is one of crucial social problems, but alcohol also becomes major concern because many countries have prohibited all the ads of that. It is agreed to ban the companies to promote alcohol due to the detrimental effects on our body and the power of media to influence consumers. Advertising alcoholic should be banned because it is harmful to human health. Drinking to much causes some serious illness such as liver cancer, diabetes, and heart diseases. Despite the utility to warm our body, most people consume alcohol only for entertaining and finally have terrible end. For instance, Indonesia has huge problem with alcoholism and many men were dying because of it, but after the government restrict the promotion of alcoholic at television, newspaper, and internet, it is resulted a significant reduction of such cases. In addition, it is inevitable that ads could persuade someone to buy more alcohol. This strengths of promotion could danger innocent people who might try alcohol as well as the addict ones. The main goal of any advertisement is to sell more, and the irresponsible part is when they distort the fact by only mentioned the positives and cut the drawbacks. I often saw billboards with a picture of handsome guy who drink beer accompanied by pretty and sexy women to show that drinking alcohol is cool and enjoyable in many billboards for example. The ads never talked about the danger impact for long term huge consumption. In conclusion, if a country want to drop the number of drinkers, they should restrict the alcohol ads for the sake of community health. So, what can society do? They could support the government, and be critical of exaggerated promotion.
Smoking is one of crucial social problems,
but
alcohol
also
becomes major concern
because
many
countries have prohibited all the ads of that. It is
agreed
to ban the
companies
to promote
alcohol
due to the detrimental effects on our body and the power of media to influence consumers.

Advertising alcoholic should
be banned
because
it is harmful to human health. Drinking
to
much
causes
some
serious illness such as liver cancer, diabetes, and heart diseases. Despite the utility to warm our body, most
people
consume
alcohol
only
for entertaining and
finally
have terrible
end
.
For instance
, Indonesia has huge problem with alcoholism and
many
men
were dying
because
of it,
but
after the
government
restrict the promotion of alcoholic at television, newspaper, and internet, it
is resulted
a significant reduction of such cases.

In addition
, it is inevitable that ads could persuade someone to
buy
more
alcohol
.
This
strengths of promotion could
danger
innocent
people
who might try
alcohol
as well
as the addict ones. The main goal of any advertisement is to sell more, and the irresponsible part is when they distort the fact by
only
mentioned the positives and
cut
the drawbacks. I
often
saw
billboards with a picture of handsome guy who drink beer accompanied by pretty and sexy women to
show
that drinking
alcohol
is cool and enjoyable in
many
billboards
for example
. The ads never talked about the
danger
impact for long term huge consumption.

In conclusion
, if a country want to drop the number of drinkers, they should restrict the
alcohol
ads for the sake of community health.
So
, what can society do? They could support the
government
, and be critical of exaggerated promotion.
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IELTS essay In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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