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What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects

One of the widely discussed issues nowaday is most of humans access to cutting edges on a broad foundation moreover a huge number of people play computer games. Generally speaking this essay will discuss one of the main problems associated with children. Without a doubt I can say that the principal problem with humans are computer. I reckon that meanwhile everyone loves computer games, this has led to those games are really captivating and these games attract a person. Using every cutting edges damages to our body. For instance in my country most of people play games on mobile phone or computer. Simplly speaking a great deal of my friends play pubg mobile. It would seem to me that game is being popular day by day. If it were up to me I would play that game when I have a rest, howeover most of children are gone to telephone. It effects to their health. For example I knew a teen which always play computer games. His eyes are damaged by computer. Generally speaking we can consume cutting edges for required exercise Nowadays technology is developping every year. For thats way there is a job which named programmist. In that profession you must have computer. Exactly we can use our computer fot neccessary things. As a result our parents should to control us. From now we should learn anything or we should read books. In my conclusion I can say that we are going to have much time to consume cutting edges for more time.
One of the
widely
discussed issues
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
is
After ‘most of’, you should use ‘the’ (“most of the humans”) or simply say “most humans”.
most of humans
access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cutting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
edges
on a broad foundation
moreover
a huge number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Generally
speaking this essay will discuss one of the main problems associated with children. Without a doubt I can say that the principal problem with humans are computer. I reckon that meanwhile everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, this has led to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
really
captivating and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
attract a person. Using every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cutting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
edges
damages to our body.
For instance
in my country most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on mobile phone or computer.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Simplly
speaking a great deal of my friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
Possible spelling mistake found.
pubg
mobile. It would seem to me that game is being popular day by day. If it were up to
Consider adding a comma here.
me
I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
that game when I have a rest,
Possible spelling mistake found.
howeover
After ‘most of’, you should use ‘the’ (“most of the children”) or simply say “most children”.
most of children
are gone
to telephone. It effects to their health. For
The comma is probably missing here: “example, I”.
example I
knew a teen which always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. His eyes
are damaged
by computer.
Generally
speaking we can consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cutting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
edges
for required exercise Nowadays technology is
Possible spelling mistake found.
developping
every year. For
Possible spelling mistake found
thats
way there is a job which named
Possible spelling mistake found.
programmist
. In that profession you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have computer. Exactly we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
fot
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessary
things.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result our parents should to control us. From
The comma is probably missing here: “now, we”.
now we
should learn
Use a comma before ‘or’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
anything or
we should read books. In my conclusion I can say that we are going to have much time to consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cutting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
edges
for more time.
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IELTS essay What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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