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What are the merits and demerits of globalization on developing nations?

To reduce trade barriers between countries, the concept of globalization was introduced, and it has completely changed the phase of world economy. However, in spite of having merits like increased nation wealth and usage of technology, there are certain demerits like damaged environment and suffering of local manufacturers. On the one hand, the evident benefit of globalization is, wealth and popularity of the countries are gradually increasing. Governments in developing countries are motivating its businessmen to produce commodities at cheaper prices by not compromising on quality and it is through exporting these products governments are increasing their revenues. Also, they are earning through taxes, whenever global manufactures want to establish their businesses in the developing countries. Additionally, it is through globalization, people are aware of new technologies that are familiar to developed nations many years ago. Developing nations have now a chance to adopt and experience these growing technologies as they are closer to them now. For example, automation in delivery and distribution sector was implemented in all the developing nations through globalization On the other hand, the main disadvantage of globalization is environment is getting damaged. Foreign companies that were established in developing nations are using non-renewable sources of energy due to which people are experiencing increased pollution and global warming. For instance, recently we heard that, Hitachi energy established in India, is using coal in its manufacturing process which is harming the environment. Moreover, local manufactures are also suffering due to this globalization as they are facing heavy competition. In addition to competition, they are also suffering with respect to increased imports from foreign countries. To conclude, although there are certain disadvantages, globalization has revived and provided oxygen to economies of many countries and it is through globalization, people are moving freely between countries.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
trade barriers between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the concept of globalization
was introduced
, and it has completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the phase of world economy.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
having merits like increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
wealth and usage of technology, there are certain demerits like damaged environment and
The usual preposition for this expression is "from" or "with." Did you mean "suffering from" or "suffering with"?
suffering of
local manufacturers.

On the one hand, the evident benefit of globalization is, wealth and popularity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
gradually
increasing.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are motivating its businessmen to produce commodities at cheaper prices by not compromising on quality and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
exporting these products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are increasing their revenues.
Also
, they are earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
taxes, whenever global manufactures want to establish their businesses in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Additionally
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
globalization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are aware of new technologies that are familiar to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a chance to adopt and experience these growing technologies as they are closer to them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
For example
, automation in delivery and distribution sector
was implemented
in all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
globalization


On the other hand
, the main disadvantage of globalization is environment is getting damaged. Foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that
were established
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are using non-renewable sources of energy due to which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are experiencing increased pollution and global warming.
For instance
, recently we heard that, Hitachi energy established in India, is using coal in its manufacturing process which is harming the environment.
Moreover
, local manufactures are
also
suffering due to this globalization as they are facing heavy competition.
In addition
to competition, they are
also
suffering with respect to increased imports from foreign countries.

To conclude
, although there are certain disadvantages, globalization has revived and provided oxygen to economies of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
globalization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are moving
freely
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS essay What are the merits and demerits of globalization on developing nations?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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