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The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

The phenomenon of keeping criminals behind bars has not been implemented successfully in improving criminals. As the criminals released becoming increasingly serious in many nations. This essay will discuss firstly, the problems associated with the system, secondly the feasible solutions to this issue, followed by a conclusion. To begin with, prisoners experience a bad environment in the lockups and do not have any rehabilitation for their behavior. To explain in detail, all the culprits are given the worst quality food and are treated badly which involves beating, bad behavior thus making them hate society even more. In addition to that, instead of educating them the inmates and the officers provoke them with bad words, which ultimately make them more arrogant towards each other and they forget about a positive attitude. For instance, many unprivileged adolescents who commit crimes end-up committing the same crime due to a lack of training and therapy. For the provision of above, it is important to rehabilitate criminals while they are in prison and educate them about the importance of life. To elaborate, there are many nations where they keep prisons very clean and treat the culprits in a good manner. Moreover, with the help of a tutor who educates personality development may create a change in all the inmates. For instance, there is a movie which released recently, with a tutor for a juvenile home bought a change in all the young criminals. To conclude, even though the prison system has failed in reforming criminals. But by implementing necessary precautions like educating them and rehabilitating them may bring change in their behavior and attitude towards society.
The phenomenon of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
behind bars has not
been implemented
successfully
in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
released becoming
increasingly
serious in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations. This essay will discuss
firstly
, the problems associated with the system,
secondly
the feasible solutions to this issue, followed by a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, prisoners experience a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
environment in the lockups and do not have any rehabilitation for their behavior. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in detail, all the culprits are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the worst quality food and
are treated
badly
which involves beating,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior
thus
making them hate society even more.
In addition
to that,
instead
of educating them the inmates and the officers provoke them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
words, which
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more arrogant towards each
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other and
they forget about a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unprivileged adolescents who commit crimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-up committing the same crime due to a lack of training and therapy.

For the provision of above, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to rehabilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
while they are in prison and educate them about the importance of life. To elaborate, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
prisons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clean and treat the culprits in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manner.
Moreover
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of a tutor who educates personality development may create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in all the inmates.
For instance
, there is a movie which released recently, with a tutor for a juvenile home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in all the young criminals.

To conclude
,
even though
the prison system has failed in reforming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
by implementing necessary precautions like educating them and rehabilitating them may bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their behavior and attitude towards society.
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IELTS essay The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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