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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime is a direct influence of the increase in violence in media. To what extent do you agree with the above statement?

It is believed by many people that the growing crimes in youth is a result of showing crimes and other violence in television and other forms of media. I completely agree with this and the essay below will further justify my stance. . To begin with, these days most of the young generation is spending time on mobiles and televisions, for entertainment. The movies they watch in the big screens and television, the shows they see in the OTT platforms are full of violence, sex, and drugs. Since most of the youth are fascinated towards the things the lead character does, they also want to portray the same things in the real life to feel themselves as a hero. In addition, the news channels nowadays are not stopping by simply reporting a crime. Instead, they are provoking through special shows which present how the recent crime was done using fictional characters. For example, every weekend there is a show on local media in India, which shows how the recent popular crime was happened in a very precise manner. Furthermore, Video games are also playing an important role in increasing the juvenile crimes. These games are different from those which we saw 10 years ago as games nowadays are filled with violence and theft. While staying active on video games most of the time, children are more provoked of sensitive situations these days. For example, Grand theft and mortal combat are the games that shows how to hit somebody hard and how to rob things by killing people. To conclude, the media these days affects the young minds negatively and encouraging them to commit illegal activities. However, there is a strong need for parents and governments to monitor the children and media houses, respectively.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in youth is a result of showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and other violence in television and other forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this and the essay below will
further
justify my stance.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, these days most of the young generation is spending time on mobiles and televisions, for entertainment. The movies they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screens and television, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
OTT
platforms are full of violence, sex, and drugs. Since most of the youth
are fascinated
towards the things the lead character does, they
also
want to portray the same things in the real life to feel themselves as a hero.
In addition
, the news channels nowadays are not stopping by
simply
reporting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Instead
, they are provoking through special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
which present how the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was done
using fictional characters.
For example
, every weekend there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
on local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in India, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
how the recent popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was happened
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precise manner.

Furthermore
, Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
also
playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in increasing the juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from those which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
10 years ago as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
nowadays
are filled
with violence and theft. While staying active on video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
most of the time, children are more provoked of sensitive situations these days.
For example
, Grand theft and mortal combat are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
how to hit somebody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and how to rob things by killing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
these days affects the young minds
negatively
and encouraging them to commit illegal activities.
However
, there is a strong need for parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to monitor the children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
,
respectively
.
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IELTS essay It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime is a direct influence of the increase in violence in media.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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