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what are the main differences between young children's social behaviour and that of adults?

what are the main differences between young children's social behaviour and that of adults? LB5QK
As time goes on, I think behavior changes for the better. As kids, we didn't have a chance to make serious decisions. we make a lot of mistakes in childhood. and trying to change as we getting older. when we were a child we didnt have respontibilities. we depended on family. adults have to get used to the business life, being alone, and take a right decision. as time passes we see the reality of life and it would be reason to dream less beacuse reality cause disappointment of childhood dreams. but children are not like this they are dreaming a lot. it makes differences between adults and children. for example, when i was a child i used to dream about unreal things and it affected to behave my enviroment but now i just thinking abouy my future what do i do if i have problems about my life, decisions, and requests in future. i had a lot of friends and we spent a lot of time each other. but as time passes we couldnt spare time. some of us migrated another places, some of us entered university. shortly we didnt have time to hang out or have fun with each other. completely, the adults' characters differ from the young. they are much more developed in life experience.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
goes on, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
behavior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
for the better. As kids, we didn't have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
serious decisions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of mistakes in childhood.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as
Did you mean "we're getting", "we are getting", or "we were getting"?
we getting
older.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
we were a child we
Possible spelling mistake found
didnt
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
respontibilities
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
depended on family.
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adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, being alone, and take a right decision.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passes we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the reality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and it would be reason to dream less
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacuse
reality cause disappointment of childhood dreams.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
children are not like this they are dreaming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
differences between adults and children.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was a child
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to dream about unreal things and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to behave my
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
thinking
Possible spelling mistake found.
abouy
my future what do
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
do if
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have problems about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, decisions, and requests
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friends and
we spent a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
each other.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passes we
Possible spelling mistake found
couldnt
spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
of us migrated another places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of us entered university.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
shortly
we
Possible spelling mistake found
didnt
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to hang out or have fun with each other.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
completely
, the adults' characters differ from the young.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are much more developed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience.
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IELTS essay what are the main differences between young children's social behaviour and that of adults?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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