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what are the immigration problems in your point of view?

what are the immigration problems in your point of view? alL27
immigration counts as one of the hardest decisions of all. leaving all of the belongings behind and turning back against every achievement you had, would never be easy. alongside all sacrifices and giving ups, we mostly find it so difficult to get used to the new upcoming atmosphere and it leads most of the immigrants to become homesick and feel hopeless. Strugglings with all emotional pressures on one side and all other vital necessities on the other side. Having felt to be responsible for everything, pushes you to be under financial problems too, and you have to disregard some of your emotions. some people find it hard to become part of society and will feel acceptance from it. After all, immigration is an edge of a sword, on one side it may fulfills all your dreams and on the other, it can change your life into a living nightmare.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
immigration
counts as one of the hardest decisions of all.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
leaving
Consider using "all the".
all of the
belongings behind and turning back against every achievement you had, would never be easy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
alongside
all sacrifices and giving ups, we
mostly
find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the new upcoming atmosphere and it leads most of the immigrants to become homesick and feel hopeless.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Strugglings
with all emotional pressures on one side and all other vital necessities on the other side. Having felt to be responsible for everything, pushes you to be under financial problems too, and you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
disregard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of your emotions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to become part of society and will feel acceptance from it.
After all
, immigration is an edge of a sword, on one side it may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "fulfill"
fulfills
all your dreams and on the other, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
your life into a living nightmare.
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IELTS essay what are the immigration problems in your point of view?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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