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What are the Challenges of Unemployment and way forward

What are the Challenges of Unemployment and way forward dola7
Unemployment has been a serious issue faced by countries these days which has grown leaps and bounds. Lack of having adequate jobs for growing population in each nation have become a major concern for even Developed countries. While some may argue this over the growing population the actual reasons are different. Firstly the major issue faced by nations are the flaws in their Educational system, wherein Colleges are not able to prepare students for skill based jobs. As a result of this candidate who pass out from Universities fail to obtain job of his/her calibre. In case of a skill based curriculum, students can be effectively trained and channelized towards a particular job which is available in the market and this has now been adopted by some nations. Secondly lack of attracting foreign investments to the country has led to creating limited job opportunities. These investors were not willing to enter the nation citing complex regulations and taxation. However these investors not only invest in a region, they also revamp the infrastructure thereby creating jobs, better roads, enhancing standard of living which alleviates the economy. Hence to conclude onus is with the Regulatory authorities who must ensure that there exist a stringent laws in place to ensure students are being taught the right subjects from the grass rot level to address the shortcomings in education. They will also have to ease foreign policies to ensure more funding comes from Multinational companies situated abroad thereby create increasing jobs to meet the demands of the nation.
Unemployment has been a serious issue faced by countries these days which has grown leaps and bounds. Lack of having adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for growing population in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
have become a major concern for even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Developed countries
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue this over the growing population the actual reasons are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

Firstly
the major issue faced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are the flaws in their Educational system, wherein Colleges are not able to prepare students for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result of this candidate who pass out from Universities fail to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of his/her
Possible spelling mistake. 'calibre' is British English.
calibre
. In case of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
based curriculum, students can be
effectively
trained and channelized towards a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which is available in the market and this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
been adopted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations.

Secondly
lack of attracting foreign investments to the country has led to creating limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities. These investors were not willing to enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
citing complex regulations and taxation.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
these investors not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
invest in a region, they
also
revamp the infrastructure thereby creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, better roads, enhancing standard of living which alleviates the economy.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
to conclude
onus is with the Regulatory authorities who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that there exist a stringent
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "law"?
laws
in place to ensure students are
being taught
the right subjects from the grass rot level to address the shortcomings in education. They will
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
foreign policies to ensure more funding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from Multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
situated abroad thereby create increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demands of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
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IELTS essay What are the Challenges of Unemployment and way forward

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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