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overpopultarion in many major uraban cities is a serios problem. What are the causes of it? How can this problem be solved?

overpopultarion in many major uraban cities is a serios problem. What are the causes of it? How can this problem be solved? r8G22
Nowadays, overpopulation is rising at an alarming rate in major cities in the world. I believe there are several reasons why this negative trend is becoming more common and some remedies we can adopt. The first reason is overpopulation an unenployment rate which has been increasing in the different village. It cause by the migration rural people into urban areas due to lack of job opportunities. As a result many people prefer to live in deveopled cities to provide well their life. The second reason is lack of education. In current times in many small villages there are not education facilities such as university, colleage and so on. As a consequences a lot of young people tent to migrate into enormous cities in the world for providing themselves with well-equipped education. Finally, lack of helath industry, job prospects caused to migrate rural people into big cities. Turning to possible solution one key step would be increasing job opportunities in rural areas. If there are people provide themselves with a high income, they don't need to move to other cities. Another way to tackle to build new education building with excellent facilities which young student don't have to migrate to urban areas to study. Another way to alleviate government play great role on solution those problems. Government should make new law about developing urban areas In conclusion although in rural areas there are lack of job oppotunities, education, helathy facilities, government should encourage people to settle in rural area and government should provide them those kinds of facilities
Nowadays, overpopulation is rising at an alarming rate in major cities in the world. I believe there are several reasons why this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend is becoming more common and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedies we can adopt.

The
first
reason is overpopulation an
Possible spelling mistake found.
unenployment
rate which has been increasing in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
village. It
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
by the migration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
deveopled
cities to provide well their life.

The second reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
times in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
villages there are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facilities such as university,
Possible spelling mistake found.
colleage
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. As
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a consequence" or simply "consequences"?
a consequences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tent to migrate into enormous cities in the world for providing themselves with well-equipped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
helath
industry,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
prospects caused to migrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.

Turning to possible solution one key step would be increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. If there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
provide themselves with a high income, they don't need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to other cities.

Another way to tackle to build new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
building with excellent facilities which young student don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
migrate to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to study.

Another way to alleviate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
play great role on solution those problems.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new law about developing urban areas

In conclusion
although in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppotunities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
helathy
facilities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to settle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide them those kinds of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
facilities
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IELTS essay overpopultarion in many major uraban cities is a serios problem. What are the causes of it? How can this problem be solved?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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