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change Is it important change ? what are differences generations?

change Is it important change? what are differences generations? bYx1Y
If I start by saying that " there is nothing permanent except change. 'a lot of people would find it a cliché. Whereas, it is an obvious fact that life involves constant change and transformation. Since Heraclitus, we know that it is not possible to step into the same river twice. Transformation and change is continious. Change is a meaningless unknown that we all desire but also fear. Given the big changes in the world, the people who are afraid of change, our parents and their time, I believe it will be a little clearer and more understandable why I'm talking about change. Our grandparents lived a more humble life. They grew up in a sincere environment where they spent almost all of their time with the their family. In past, people were more trustful so they trusted each other very much. There were stricter rules than in our time, but they were also firmly committed to the rules. They care more about tradition than we do, and their traditions are more important than ours. They've had harder times like financial troubles, unemployment, family problems etc. Nowadays It's easy to get to something, but that was quite hard back then. They're almost far away of technological innovations, but they're happy about it. Although they appreciate technological possibilities, they don't adopt it. They believe it lowers communication and respect. They think children are becoming more disrespectful with new opportunities. we became more interested in technology so our communication was weak. They love face-to-face communication, believing it to be sincere. Of course, that thought depends on the individual. I think people are more impatient now because easier access to information than before, it creates impatience. Therefore, it is necessary to adapt quickly for change. Although change is known to have its good and bad sides, it is a fact that it takes place in our lives. Person changes, society changes, world changes… ‘There is nothing permanent except change. ’ There are so many differences between my generation and my grandparent’s generations. Today, Life is more comfortable and easier than their time for many reason. The first important difference is the education. My generation's education is more different than my grandparent’s generation. In the past, almost all people were uneducated. Also, the education was only for men and they did not allow women to learn. But, education is very important now. So nowadays, everybody focus on education. Therefore, also women play more active role in our society. Secondly, technology is more advanced than in the past. Nowadays, my generation spends a lot of time in front of the computer, or watching TV. Also, they spend most of their time chatting with their friends on their mobile phones. But, they didn't have such opportunities in the past. So, they spend their time on work or their familes, friends. I think, it is more sincere than today’s. In brief, Even though my grandparent’s generation and my generation has some similarities, generally they are different from each other.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by saying that
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
there is nothing permanent except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. '
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would find it a cliché. Whereas, it is an obvious fact that life involves constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and transformation. Since Heraclitus, we know that it is not possible to step into the same river twice. Transformation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
continious
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
is a meaningless unknown that we all desire
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but
also
fear.
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Given
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are afraid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, our parents and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I believe it will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
clearer and more understandable why I'm talking about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Our
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grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
a more humble life. They grew up in a sincere environment where they spent almost all of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their family" or "the family"?
the their family
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
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people
were more trustful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they trusted each other
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very
much. There were stricter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
than in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were
also
firmly
committed to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. They care more about tradition than we do, and their traditions are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than ours. They've had harder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
like financial troubles, unemployment, family problems etc.

Nowadays It's easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to something,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that was quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
back then. They're almost far away of technological innovations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they're happy about it. Although they appreciate technological possibilities, they don't adopt it. They believe it lowers communication and respect. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
children are becoming more disrespectful with new opportunities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
became more interested in technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
our communication was weak. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
face-to-face communication, believing it to be sincere.
Of course
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
depends on the individual. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more impatient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
easier access to information than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, it creates impatience.
Therefore
, it is necessary to adapt
quickly
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Although
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change
is known
to have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides, it is a fact that it takes place in our
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lives
. Person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, world
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changes…
‘There is nothing permanent except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. ’

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
differences between my generation and my
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grandparent’s
generations.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, Life is more comfortable and easier than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: "many reasons".
many reason
. The
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
difference is the
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education
. My generation's
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education
is more
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different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparent’s
generation. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were uneducated
.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
men and
they did not
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allow
women to learn.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
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education
is
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
nowadays, everybody
The pronoun 'everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "focuses", "focusses", "focused", "focussed".
focus
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
,
also
women play more active role in our society.
Secondly
, technology is more advanced than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. Nowadays, my generation spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the computer, or watching TV.
Also
, they spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
chatting with their friends on their mobile phones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, they didn't have such opportunities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on work or their
Possible spelling mistake found.
familes
, friends. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, it is more sincere than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s.
In brief
,
Even though
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparent’s
generation and my generation has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
similarities,
generally
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from each other.
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IELTS essay change Is it important change? what are differences generations?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
502 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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