Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

What are the benefits and drawbacks of this activity?

What are the benefits and drawbacks of this activity? b2XyB
In our modern life, youngsters are spending more time watching television than adults. This essay will argue that although television programs help children relax and bring them knowledge, reducing friends and physical health-related influences mean that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. On the upside, one of the prominent positives of watching television is that it is an attractive entertainment means for kids. This is because there are various interesting programs with vibrant images and content such as cartoons, films, and practical shows, which appeal to people under 18 years old. Another main advantage is televisions help students broaden their horizons beyond what they learn at school. That is to say, children often explore new knowledge and expand their experience about the people, culture, science through watching a wide range of channels on television. A secondary student can know how to create soaps when he observes the scientists do a simple chemical experiment on television is a case in point. On the downside, television can impact negatively on building relationships of children. This can be explained that when they spend time watching films inside their home, they tend to be isolated and do not want to make friends outside. There are many cases highlight that a number of kids do not have any friend because they only stay at home and watch movies. Another significant drawback is addicting television can lead to physical relevant diseases. For example, a child can get illnesses relating to his eyes when watching the blue light of electronic devices. Therefore, kids who lack outside activities and spend entire their days for television programs can not have good physical health. To sum up, even though television is a useful device for entertaining and studying, watching it too much can influence youngsters’ health and their friendships. In my opinion, I believe that children should watch television for around one hour per day and spend time playing sports to improve their health and relationship.
In our modern life, youngsters are spending more time watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
than adults. This essay will argue that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
relax and bring them knowledge, reducing friends and physical health-related influences mean that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

On the upside, one of the prominent positives of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is that it is an attractive entertainment means for kids. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are various interesting programs with vibrant images and content such as cartoons, films, and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, which appeal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
under 18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Another main advantage is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students broaden their horizons beyond what they learn at school.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
explore new knowledge and expand their experience about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, culture, science through watching a wide range of channels on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. A secondary student can know how to create soaps when he observes the scientists do a simple chemical experiment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is a case in point.

On the downside,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can impact
negatively
on building relationships of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that when they spend time watching films inside their home, they tend to
be isolated
and do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends outside. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases highlight that a number of kids do not have any friend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stay at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies. Another significant drawback is addicting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can lead to physical relevant diseases.
For example
, a child can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
illnesses relating to his eyes when watching the blue light of electronic devices.
Therefore
, kids who lack outside activities and spend entire their days for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
programs can not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical health.

To sum up,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is a useful device for entertaining and studying, watching it too much can influence youngsters’ health and their friendships. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for around one hour per day and spend time playing sports to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health and relationship.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay What are the benefits and drawbacks of this activity?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • What are the benefits and drawbacks of this activity?