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What are the benefit of cell phones?

What are the benefit of cell phones? xaKAb
Cell phones are important. Nowadays, many people use cell phones in theirlife. In my opinion, cell phones have both advantages and dis advantages. On the one hand, cell phones have a lot of pros. The first short coming is that people use cell phones in order to contact the family or friends. When students come to big city to study, they can call their parents. Secondly, people can use cell phones to find information. To illustrate, students can connect to the Internet to look for seek learing materials thanks to the cell phones. Today, in mordern society people more and more use cell phones to learn, working and they can use it go travelling by smartphones. On the other hand, cell phones have some cons. First of all, cell phones can affect people’s health. For instance, this device can make people short- sighted so they become stressed and sleepless. Secondly, people will waste a lot of time when they use cell phones all day. Particularly, the young generation surf the internet and play games on the phones everywhere; moreover, if they cannot use cell phones is improperly leading to society’s vices such as imitate acts of violence on the internet. In conclusion, although cell phones have both advantages and advantages; however, what count from my point of view is that if people using cell phones a reasonable way people could not effect to health or other sides by cell phones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
theirlife
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have both advantages and
Did you mean "this"?
dis
advantages.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pros. The
first
Did you mean "shortcoming"?
short coming
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in order to contact the family or friends. When students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city to study, they can call their parents.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to find information. To illustrate, students can connect to the Internet to look for seek
Possible spelling mistake found.
learing
materials thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
mordern
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to learn,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it go travelling by smartphones.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.
For instance
, this device can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
short- sighted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and sleepless.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
all day.
Particularly
, the young generation surf the internet and play games on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
everywhere;
moreover
, if they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is
improperly
leading to society’s vices such as imitate acts of violence on the internet.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have both advantages and advantages;
however
, what count from my point of view is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
a reasonable way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
to health or other sides by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
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IELTS essay What are the benefit of cell phones?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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