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what are the advantages of technology?

what are the advantages of technology? YmxDr
The innovation and latest technological advancements is a topic of great controversy these days. No doubt, the advancement of technology has made our lives lot easier but the cost we are paying is a lot more then we can think of or we see around us today. The adverse impact of technology can be seen easily on our health. Another great impact of technology over the humans would be the growing distance between each other. There are various reasons for weakening our relationships with our dear ones, with those who need us most and the root cause is technology again. However, certainly, technology has helped us to grow and achieve too much in a short span of time in the area of health, science, education, communication etc. But the adverse effects of technology overweigh the benefits if we look at it in a broad way.
The innovation and latest technological advancements is a topic of great controversy these days. No doubt, the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
lot easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the cost we are paying is a lot more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
of or
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
around us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. The adverse impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
easily
on our health. Another great impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
over the humans would be the growing distance between each other. There are various reasons for weakening our relationships with our dear ones, with those who need us most and the root cause is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
again.
However
,
certainly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us to grow and achieve too much in a short span of time in the area of health, science, education, communication etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the adverse effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the benefits if we look at it
Consider replacing "in a broad way" with the adverb for "broad"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a broad way
.
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IELTS essay what are the advantages of technology?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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