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What are the advantages of extreme sports

What are the advantages of extreme sports R0apQ
What kind of benefits extreme sport has? I personally believe that there are lots of advantages in extreme sport. Today, it is not easy to make name and fame in the world where anyone has some kind of talent. As people want to achieve their goal to become popular. So the majority of people get attracted towards extreme sports. They believe that by engaging dangerous sport activities, they can become a real hero and it actually happens. For example, Mohammad Ali who is the best boxer all of his life, even though when he died many politicians like American president or Indian prime-minister twitted for him, as a legend. Secondly, extreme sports become a popular way of making money. A great example is Mr Bean Grylls. As we know by doing dangerous sport activities. What's more, he is famous for his show named " Man vs Wild ". All activities he does are fearless. Thirdly, adventure sports also can be harmful to people's health. Doing dangerous sports can cause a lot of physical and mental health problems or injuries. For instance, Michael Schumacher who is world champion of racing injured because of extreme sports and even has gone come. In conclusion, there is no need to be afraid of anything if we take safety measures regardless of any sport.
What kind of benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
has? I
personally
believe that there are lots of advantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, it is not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
name and fame in the world where anyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of talent.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to achieve their goal to become popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. They believe that by engaging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities, they can become a real hero and it actually happens.
For example
, Mohammad Ali who is the best boxer all of his life,
even though
when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
politicians like American president or Indian prime-minister twitted for him, as a legend.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
become a popular way of making money. A great example is Mr Bean
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grylls
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we know by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities. What's more, he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
named
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
vs Wild
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
. All activities he does are fearless.
Thirdly
, adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
also
can be harmful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health. Doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
physical and mental health problems or injuries.
For instance
, Michael Schumacher who is world champion of racing injured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and even has gone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
In conclusion
, there is no need to be afraid of anything if we take safety measures regardless of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
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IELTS essay What are the advantages of extreme sports

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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