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Some people believe that contents on media should be more strictly censored. Others feel that censorship should be loosened to give people freer access to information and entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that contents on media should be more strictly censored. Others feel that censorship should be loosened to give people freer access to information and entertainment. 8G3Wm
In the world thesedays, media become more and more importaint for people to informed and entertainment. But some people believe that contents on media should more severer consored. Others feel that censorship should not be so strickly so that people can freely access to information and entertainment. This eassy will discuss the both pro and cos of this issue First of all, the contents of media should more censored because children. In social nowaday, perents allow their progeny have their own mobile phone to contact with others but forget to control them on social networks. Due to that fact, if the contents of media are not be sensored, young people can read or watch some contents not accordant and that can lead to bad effects. Furthermore, we have to strictly censored the contends because of someone’s invation of privacy. People can not control the language on the Internet. Some unscrupulous media tycoons take that unfair of that to make sensational stories and give to readerships. On the other hand, the media had better not to strictly censored too much. For some readership, they can have more view of the problems. So that they can have more choice to believe the most reasonable opinions. Moreover, Internet right now is very useful for some job. For instance, when a person post some idea on network, there will have a group of people will dabate that idea. Some job such as: marketing, reality shows, news. . can have more conceit to explore. To sum up, the censorship have both advantages and disadvantages. But media should control more flexible, make sure that their articles is fit for everyone. The reader can get what they want, not all what they want.
In the world
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
become more and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
importaint
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to informed and entertainment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that contents on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should
Use only "severer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more severer
Possible spelling mistake found.
consored
. Others feel that censorship should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
strickly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
freely
access to information and entertainment. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassy
will discuss the both pro and cos of this issue

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the contents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should more censored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children. In social
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
perents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their progeny have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mobile phone to contact with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
forget to control them on social networks. Due to that fact, if the contents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
sensored
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can read or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
contents not accordant and that can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects.
Furthermore
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
strictly
censored the contends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of someone’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
invation
of privacy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can not control the language on the Internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
unscrupulous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
tycoons take that unfair of that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sensational stories and give to readerships.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
had better not to
strictly
censored too much. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
readership, they can have more view of the problems.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
they can have more choice to believe the most reasonable opinions.
Moreover
, Internet right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
job.
For instance
, when a person
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "posts".
post
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on network, there will have a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
dabate
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
job such as: marketing, reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, news.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
can
have more conceit to explore.

To sum up, the censorship have both advantages and disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should control more flexible,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their articles
is fit
for everyone. The reader can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they want, not all what they want.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that contents on media should be more strictly censored. Others feel that censorship should be loosened to give people freer access to information and entertainment.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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