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Please describe your demonstrated financial need, including any circumstances regarding your household financial status that we should take into account when your financial aid application is reviewed.

Please describe your demonstrated financial need, including any circumstances regarding your household financial status that we should take into account when your financial aid application is reviewed. 8G3nl
I’m the first person in my family who will be applying for Yale Young Global Scholars program. Neither of my parents had an opportunity to attend college and due to this, they had to face many struggles in their life. They know the real value of education. My father is the sole breadwinner in the family. He runs a small restaurant and it is the only source of our living. My father has committed to do everything within his ability to provide me with the best guidance and quality education. But after the covid-19 breakout, the restaurant was shut down. There was a great fall in sales. We were suffering from financial constraints. But still, by taking some informal loans he is somehow managing to bear my school fee. Because of his sacrifices, I have been able to get better education and guidance to excel in academics. With the academics, I have also been involved in community work, helping underprivileged children by providing them with quality education. I also aim to help and save the lives of students from the age of 8 to 16, to not practice cyberbullying, sexting, and not getting indulged in exploitative relationships. I eagerly want to participate in this program to get the best guidance to distend my initiation at mass level and to bring a revolution in the society. But in these circumstances of financial constraints, even if my parents want me to participate in this program they won’t be able as it won’t be possible for them to afford any more loans to pay the program fee.
I’m the
first
person in my family who will be applying for Yale Young Global Scholars
program
. Neither of my parents had an opportunity to attend college and due to this, they had to face
many
struggles in their life. They know the real value of
education
. My father is the sole breadwinner in the family. He runs a
small
restaurant and it is the
only
source of our living. My father has committed to do everything within his ability to provide me with the best guidance and quality
education
.
But
after the
covid-19
breakout, the restaurant
was shut
down. There was a great fall in sales. We were suffering from financial constraints.
But
still
, by taking
some
informal loans he is somehow managing to bear my school fee.
Because
of his sacrifices, I have been able to
get
better
education
and guidance to excel in academics. With the academics, I have
also
been involved
in community work, helping underprivileged children by providing them with quality
education
. I
also
aim to
help
and save the
lives
of students from the age of 8 to 16, to not practice cyberbullying, sexting, and not getting indulged in exploitative relationships. I
eagerly
want to participate in this
program
to
get
the best guidance to distend my initiation at mass level and to bring a revolution in the society.
But
in these circumstances of financial constraints, even if my parents want me to participate in this
program
they won’t be able as it won’t be possible for them to afford any more loans to pay the
program
fee.
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IELTS essay Please describe your demonstrated financial need, including any circumstances regarding your household financial status that we should take into account when your financial aid application is reviewed.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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