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What are the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to daycare centers? Discuss the both views

What are the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to daycare centers? Discuss the both views r8GVn
In this contemporary world, many parents tend to be busy working and they have to rely on someone else to look after their children. Certain people believe that childcare organisations have many benefits while others think it has significant drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both pros and cons with relevant facts. On the one hand, there is a current trend that working parents are kept their children at childcare centers because most of the staff are highly skilled and well trained in early childhood education to deal with kids. For instance, diploma and degree holding staff are applying their skills to develop the children's growing skills in the best way and positive impact on society. Moreover, since there are mix of instructional activities during the day such as painting, singing, storytelling and outdoor activities will help younger people to develop their creativity, learning and stay fit. Finally, on the positive side, children get opportunity to socialize with other children which they might not get if they stayed at home. On the other hand, the major drawback of the daycare system is that is cost involved with it is relatively high compared to the other options that parents has. Considerable percentage of working parents are not able to send their kids to such highly reputed institutions because if they spend that amount of money they will be not able to fullfill their other monthly requirements. Spreading infections and germs is the other major disadvantage of childcare centers. For instance, in 2015, 87 kids below 6 years has been hospitalized due sudden illnesses they have faced at the daycare center in China. Therefore, parents had to suffer along with the kids. To recapitulate, childcare centers are valuable option for working parents but government needs to take the corrective actions to monitor and maintain the quality of it in order to produce healthy and wise generation. Furthermore, it is also neccessary parents to visit their kids at daycare center and check on them.
In this contemporary world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tend to be busy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on someone else to look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that childcare
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has significant drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both pros and cons with relevant facts.

On the one hand, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the staff are
highly
skilled and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
in early childhood education to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
For instance
, diploma and degree holding staff are applying their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to develop the children's growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in the best way and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on society.
Moreover
, since there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "mixes"?
mix
of instructional activities during the day such as painting, singing, storytelling and outdoor activities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to develop their creativity, learning and stay fit.
Finally
, on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which they might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
if they stayed at home.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the major drawback of the daycare system is that
is cost
involved with it is
relatively
high compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
options that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
has. Considerable percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to such
highly
reputed institutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they spend that amount of money they will be not able to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
monthly requirements. Spreading infections and germs is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
major disadvantage of childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
.
For instance
, in 2015, 87
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
below 6 years has
been hospitalized
due sudden illnesses they have faced at the daycare center in China.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had to suffer along with the kids.

To recapitulate, childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
are valuable option for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to take the corrective actions to monitor and maintain the quality of it in order to produce healthy and wise generation.
Furthermore
, it is
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to visit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at daycare center and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on them.

IELTS essay What are the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to daycare centers? Discuss the both views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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