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What are some possible negative outcomes of mHealth when it comes to personal health and wellness apps?

What are some possible negative outcomes of mHealth when it comes to personal health and wellness apps? JYjXa
In the article “Health and Wellness on the Go” from Making Connection 4 textbook (p. 83-p. 86), the author writes about health and wellness app. They point out that there will have a better way to support the experts caring their patients who cannot be cured effectively because of some disadvantaged reasons. First, the writer mentions the development of this kind of health app due to the increasing of technology, which improves the communication between patients and doctors. Second, they state that mHealth devices do not provide only the services for patients living far away from medical facilities, but also the healthy people. Lastly, although the efficiency in diagnosis of these apps have not yet been approved, people are still trusting in its indisputable functions in modern time. After reading this article, even though the author has a positive view on mHealth apps, from my perspective, I think about two negative incomes related this personal health and wellness apps. First of all, this type of app provides a healthy suggestion that is not helpful based on the information we enter, which is not checked by the experts. In other words, if we do not know clearly our own health indicators such as height, weight, potential diseases, and so on, these apps suggest a plan how we practice everyday or how much calories we can take each meal according to all the numbers we provide. For example, when I use a mHealth app, I enter only my height and weight, so the app suggests me to practice two hours per day to gain my aim losing two kilograms. Nevertheless, I do not care about the calories I consume, and I do not achieve my goal. Secondly, users trust all indicators on apps even though they do not know they have some serious diseases. In fact, the apps give us some indicators related heartbeat, steps that are usually accurate. In contrast, these technological devices cannot know our acquired diseases before if we do not provide. For example, my sister’s friend who had not any symptom of the heart disease in the past used a personal wellness app to improve his health by following the plan suggested. After practicing in few weeks, he felt not good, but he did not go to hospital to diagnose because the indicators were still alright. Fortunately, he had a general examination by company and recognized this disease. In conclusion, from my point, despite the benefits of mHealth apps, there are some issues that these apps are not helpful in achieving the aim and in recognizing the diseases, so it is important that we consider our purposes to use it by the right way.
In the article
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wellness
on the Go” from Making Connection 4 textbook (p. 83-p. 86), the author writes about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wellness
app. They point out that there will have a better way to support the experts caring their patients who cannot
be cured
effectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantaged reasons.
First
, the writer mentions the development of this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
app due to the increasing of technology, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the communication between patients and doctors. Second, they state that
Possible spelling mistake found.
mHealth
devices do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the services for patients living far away from medical facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Lastly
, although the efficiency in diagnosis of these apps have not
yet
been approved
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
trusting in its indisputable functions in modern time.

After reading this article,
even though
the author has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view on
Possible spelling mistake found.
mHealth
apps, from my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
incomes related this personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wellness
apps.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, this type of app
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
a healthy suggestion
that is
not helpful based on the information we enter, which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
by the experts.
In other words
, if we do not know
clearly
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicators
such as height, weight, potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, these apps suggest a plan how we practice
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
or how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
calories we can take each meal according to all the numbers we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
.
For example
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
mHealth
app, I enter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
my height and weight,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the app suggests me to practice two hours per day to gain my aim losing two kilograms.
Nevertheless
, I do not care about the calories I consume, and I do not achieve my goal.
Secondly
, users trust all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicators
on apps
even though
they do not know they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. In fact, the apps give us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicators
related heartbeat, steps that are
usually
accurate.
In contrast
, these technological devices cannot know our acquired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
if we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
.
For example
, my sister’s friend who had not any symptom of the heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wellness
app to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by following the plan suggested. After practicing in few weeks, he felt not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he did not go to hospital to diagnose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indicators
were
still
alright.
Fortunately
, he had a general examination by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and recognized this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
In conclusion
, from my point, despite the benefits of
Possible spelling mistake found.
mHealth
apps, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues that these apps are not helpful in achieving the aim and in recognizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we consider our purposes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it by the right way.
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IELTS essay What are some possible negative outcomes of mHealth when it comes to personal health and wellness apps?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
446 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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