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why tourists are interested to travel remote area

why tourists are interested to travel remote area R5KeY
Recently, the growth in the number of tourists who are eager to visit unspoiled and challengeable resorts, as a travel destination, is common. Although, there are merits for these tourist in these journeys, some detrimental factors should not be ignored. On the positive side, to begin with, tourists and especially the young choose exotic place because it provides a sense of pleasure and tranquility for them. It can be worthwhile experience for them in that way it open new door to life through changing their insight on life. Secondly, not only traveling to the most of famous touristy magnet around the globe cost a lot and majority of people who intend to take a tour cannot afford to pay extravagant expenditure but also this vacation can provide monotonous and steady moment with them without any excitement events. However, traveling to remote and unspoiled place have numerous downside, first of all, the tourists have to take a long distance, so they feel totally drain. They likely face lack of water and foods sources and day by day amount of food storage has dwindled. this demanding situation threats their lives. It brings about stress and irritate emotion for visitors. After that, connection problem is another big difficulty. When visitors get stuck in in the middle of desert or jungles there is not useful technological achievement such as cell phone or internet for communication. They do not have access to ask aids and these is a really frustrating occasion, hence It is a serious risk.
Recently, the growth in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
who are eager to visit unspoiled and
Possible spelling mistake found.
challengeable
resorts, as a travel destination, is common. Although, there are merits for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
in these journeys,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental factors should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and
especially
the young choose exotic place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides a sense of pleasure and tranquility for them. It can be worthwhile experience for them in that way it open new door to life through changing their insight on life.
Secondly
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
traveling to the most of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
touristy magnet around the globe cost a lot and
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who intend to take a tour cannot afford to pay extravagant expenditure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
this vacation can provide monotonous and steady moment with them without any excitement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

However
, traveling to remote and unspoiled place have numerous downside,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take a long distance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feel
totally
drain. They likely face lack of water and foods sources and day by day amount of food storage has dwindled.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
demanding situation threats their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It brings about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and irritate emotion for visitors. After that, connection problem is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difficulty. When visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
the middle of desert or jungles there is not useful technological achievement such as cell phone or internet for communication. They do not have access to ask aids and
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
a
really
frustrating occasion,
hence
It is a serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
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IELTS essay why tourists are interested to travel remote area

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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