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Describe a shop near where you live that you sometime use

Describe a shop near where you live that you sometime use aV3bY
Let me talk about a shop which is far from my home about 50 steps. It opened last spring and its name is Mimi shop. The particular shop is department store that sells all types of things required for living a decent life, they sells the stuff like clothing, home appliances, toys, cosmetic, houseware, garding, toiletries, sporting goods, food, drink, books, jewellery, electronics, stationery, photographic equipment, . . . Interestingly, the price of all the products are reasonable and within reach of everyone. Shopping in here is very convinient, it helps me save my time as i dont need to go far. Moreover, on occasion like Black Friday, Tet, Christmas, . . . all products are sold at half price. It also has a karaoke service with a cheap price. I go to this shop at least once a day to enjoy my favourite food are hot dog, sausage and milk tea because all of food have an unique taste that cant be found anywhere else. Mimi shop is located in a busy street and a residential area, it has medium size, i guess it must be about 250 square, every entrance is guarded by a guard Since it just opened last year, everything is still new. Mimi shop looks very elegent with simple design. The best reason i highly appreciate this shop due to their efforts to ensure the quality of each product with reasonable price, Furthermore, i fancy their customer service, every staff in here is very genially and willing to help when i have any problem. Finally, i love Mimishop because it remains clean and tidy most of the time. I will always go to Mimi shop whenever i need something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me talk about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
which is far from my home about 50 steps. It opened last spring and its name is Mimi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. The particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
is department store that sells all types of things required for living a decent life, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "sell"
sells
the stuff like clothing, home appliances, toys, cosmetic,
Possible spelling mistake found.
houseware
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
garding
, toiletries, sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, food, drink, books,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
, electronics, stationery, photographic equipment
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Interestingly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of all the products are reasonable and within reach of everyone. Shopping in here is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinient
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me save my time as i
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
need to go far.
Moreover
, on occasion like Black Friday, Tet, Christmas
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
all
products
are sold
at half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
. It
also
has a karaoke service with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
. I go to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
at least once a day to enjoy my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
food are hot dog, sausage and milk tea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Consider using "all food" or "all of the food".
all of food
have
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
unique taste that
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
be found
anywhere else. Mimi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
is located
in a busy street and a residential area, it has medium size,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
guess it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be about 250 square, every entrance
is guarded
by a guard Since it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
opened last year, everything is
still
new. Mimi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
looks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
elegent
with simple design. The best reason
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
highly
appreciate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
due to their efforts to ensure the quality of each product with reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
,
Furthermore
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
fancy their customer service, every staff in here is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
genially
and willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have any problem.
Finally
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mimishop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it remains clean and tidy most of the time. I will always go to Mimi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
whenever
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
need
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
something
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IELTS essay Describe a shop near where you live that you sometime use

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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