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Weather the increase that has occurred to the number of people who tend to complete their university studies is caused by the competitive job market or by the individuals pure desire for learning

Weather the increase that has occurred to the number of people who tend to complete their university studies is caused by the competitive job market or by the individuals pure desire for learning doXw6
Nowadays, youth generation tend to acquire higher education standards in comparison with the past. It is believed that this is caused by the competitiveness of the job opportunities. While others argue it's due to the more accessible and affordable educational programs which didn't exist few decades ago. As for me, it's unjustifiable to ignore the passionate students universities are filled with and direct all the credits to the thriving educational facilities. On one hand, it may be true that job seekers are dramatically concerned about gathering skills and accredited degrees, but looking to the percentages of employees continuing their education to higher levels, it is evident that the desire of studying is not restricted to those trying to find a job. Furthermore, candidates for job positions are being evaluated by difficult acceptance criterion which skills and experiences fail to meet. Moreover, the negative way society looks to non-educated individuals has a significant impact on increasing graduates proportions. On the other hand, completing university studies have become more similar to an obligation and necessity than a desire. Students continue their studies in order to be recognized in the current communities. Nevertheless, people became willing to give up their dreams and devote more efforts on their job performance instead. To sum up, since learning is a lifelong continuous process. This essay above argues that people prefer universities based on personal interests rather than merely pleasing the job market. However, the existing educational programs have only helped achieve these demands and naturally made career races even more challenging.
Nowadays, youth generation tend to acquire higher education standards
in comparison
with the past. It
is believed
that this
is caused
by the competitiveness of the
job
opportunities. While others argue it's due to the more accessible and affordable educational programs which didn't exist few decades ago. As for me, it's unjustifiable to
ignore
the passionate students universities
are filled
with and direct all the credits to the thriving educational facilities.

On one hand, it may be true that
job
seekers are
dramatically
concerned about gathering
skills
and accredited degrees,
but
looking to the percentages of employees continuing their education to higher levels, it is evident that the desire of studying is not restricted to those trying to find a
job
.
Furthermore
, candidates for
job
positions are
being evaluated
by difficult acceptance criterion which
skills
and experiences fail to
meet
.
Moreover
, the
negative
way society looks to non-educated individuals has a significant impact on increasing graduates proportions.

On the other hand
, completing university studies have become more similar to an obligation and necessity than a desire. Students continue their studies in order to
be recognized
in the
current
communities.
Nevertheless
,
people
became willing to give up their dreams and devote more efforts on their
job
performance
instead
.

To sum up, since learning is a lifelong continuous process. This essay above argues that
people
prefer universities based on personal interests
rather
than
merely
pleasing the
job
market.
However
, the existing educational programs have
only
helped
achieve these demands and
naturally
made career races even more challenging.
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IELTS essay Weather the increase that has occurred to the number of people who tend to complete their university studies is caused by the competitive job market or by the individuals pure desire for learning

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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