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Making friends online - advantages and disadvantages

Making friends online - advantages and disadvantages bYXaP
As the result of rapid technology development, more options to make friends online have emerged. While many people consider online interaction risky, I believe that advantages can be taken from such platforms as well. Making friends through chat rooms or social sites might be disadvantageous. First of all, internet users might be cheated miserably. Specifically, diverse cases of cyber-bullying or other crimes have been reported worldwide. For an instance, criminals may steal a person’s online account and use it to extort money from his or her relatives. Furthermore, spending too much time chatting online with strangers might be a huge loss of energy. Many teenagers are now being blamed to spend consecutive days on social media while dismissing their studies. However, it is undeniable that there are numerous advantages of making friends online. Firstly, it is probably more convenient and cost-effective than meeting someone in person. People can just stay at home and visit different websites to search for someone who suits them. Secondly, making friends online can be more comfortable than face-to-face as internet users might not know much about one’s private life in reality. Thus, people usually find it easier to chat with an online friend than direct meeting. Furthermore, having various friends online can significantly help to broaden a person’s knowledge because internet users can learn much about different countries and cultures by talking to an online friend living there. In conclusion, making online friends can be both advantageous and disadvantageous. The importance is that people should be aware of such pros and cons and be cautious in establishing an online relationship.
As the result of rapid technology development, more options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
have emerged. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
interaction risky, I believe that advantages can
be taken
from such platforms
as well
.

Making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
through chat rooms or social sites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be disadvantageous.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, internet users
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be cheated
miserably
.
Specifically
, diverse cases of cyber-bullying or other crimes have
been reported
worldwide. For an instance, criminals may steal a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
account and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to extort money from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
relatives.
Furthermore
, spending too much time chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with strangers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be a huge loss of energy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being blamed
to spend consecutive days on social media while dismissing their studies.

However
, it is undeniable that there are numerous advantages of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Firstly
, it is
probably
more convenient and cost-effective than meeting someone in person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay at home and visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
websites to search for someone who suits them.
Secondly
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can be more comfortable than face-to-face as internet users
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not know much about one’s private life in reality.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
find it easier to chat with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
than direct meeting.
Furthermore
, having various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to broaden a person’s knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
internet users can learn much about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries and cultures by talking to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
living there.

In conclusion
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can be both advantageous and disadvantageous. The importance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be aware of such pros and cons and be cautious in establishing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
relationship.
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IELTS essay Making friends online - advantages and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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