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Weather owning or renting a house

Weather owning or renting a house RkgPG
Whether owning a home or renting it have been controversial topics over the past decades. Although some people view that renting a house might potentially provides several benefits such as low maintenance cost, while I personally believe that owning a house do have some advantages also like reduce tension. In the following paragraphs, both of these viewpoint will be outlined before conclusion is reached. It i true to say that we human want to own something ours. To illustrate, people tend to own properties such as mortgage, so that these properties are then pass on to their children. In addition, renting can also lead to tension in a family as they are restricted to some circumstances. For example, people staying in high rise condominium can not own a pet and for some families, pets such as dogs and cats are considered to be part of their family. On the one hand, it is undeniable that renting do have several advantages. To begin with, with the developing economy houses specially in urban tend to be costly and many people can not afford in Thailand. Therefore, these people could lease with a lower price rather than buying it. In addition, citizen could reduce their transport cost by renting it near their workplace. On the other hand, owning a house mean reducing tension as people specially in japan and Korea are restricted with a small space, without any garden nor fitness for resident and as a result, their tend to stress out and face lots of mental health issues. Additionally, with developing of economy and high inflation rate, which mean people could later invest in their house and earn large some of money. For example, people owning houses around the world can earns profit as house tend to rise. To sum up, owning or renting a home depend on people’s wealth as well as choice because some can afford it, while other face difficulty. Thus, deciding on renting or owning a house play an important role in individual life.
Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a home or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
it have been controversial topics over the past decades. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
might
potentially
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "provide"
provides
several benefits such as low maintenance cost, while I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
do have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages
also
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
tension. In the following paragraphs, both of
Did you mean "this viewpoint" or "these viewpoints"?
these viewpoint
will
be outlined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
conclusion
is reached
.

It
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
true to say that
It seems that a verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here. Please verify.
we human
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
something ours. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
properties such as mortgage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that these properties are then pass on to their children.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
can
also
lead to tension in a family as they
are restricted
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
staying in high rise condominium can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a pet and for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families, pets such as dogs and cats
are considered
to be part of their family.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
do have several advantages. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, with the developing economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
specially
in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to be costly and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not afford in Thailand.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could lease with a lower price
rather
than buying it.
In addition
, citizen could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their transport cost by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
it near their workplace.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
mean reducing tension as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
specially
in japan and Korea
are restricted
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
space, without any garden nor fitness for resident and
as a result
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
out and face lots of mental health issues.
Additionally
, with developing of economy and high inflation rate, which mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could later invest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and earn large
Consider using "some money" or "some of the money".
some of money
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
around the world can earns profit as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to rise.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a home depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
wealth
as well
as choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
can afford it, while other face difficulty.
Thus
, deciding on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in individual life.
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IELTS essay Weather owning or renting a house

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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