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Wearing fashionable clothes is becoming important todays.Is the attitude to wearing fashionable clothes leading to positive or negative development.

Wearing fashionable clothes is becoming important todays. Is the attitude to wearing fashionable clothes leading to positive or negative development. J8ED
Fashion industry has become one of the leading industry due to awareness of people for fashion. Nowadays numerous individuals like to wear different fashion attire. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of fashion attitude among persons. To commence with advantages, major change that can been seen easily among women. Fashion attitude plays crucial role to building the confidence among people. For instance, in past era, there was a compulsion on women in India to cover their face with piece clothes however, fashion awareness among ladies not only helpful to get rid of such restrictions but also helpful to build the confidence. In other words in past time they want to speak up but restriction has became major barrier. Furthermore, fashion industry provide an opportunity to earn bread and butter to number of individuals which helps them to raise standard of living. In contradictory side, firstly, mostly people like to wear different types to branded clothes, as such clothes are very expensive. To buy highly expensive attires they indulge in illegal activities which lead to adverse impact on society. Nextly, plenty of dresses are made of animals and to meet demand of individuals, industries kill more animals. As a result, lot of animals are endanger. Lastly, change in fashion leads to change in culture, youngster forget their traditional culture and values and become fashion conscious that are painful for elders who are deeply attached with their culture. In conclusion, although fashion industry performs a major role in development of nation as it provides employment to number of persons and assist to improve in standard of living but demerits can not be overlooked.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
has become one of the leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
due to awareness of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
. Nowadays numerous individuals like to wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
attire. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
attitude among persons.

To commence with advantages, major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that
Did you mean "can be" or "has been"?
can been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
easily
among women.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fashion
attitude plays crucial role to building the confidence among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, in past era, there was a compulsion on women in India to cover their face with piece clothes
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
awareness among ladies not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of such restrictions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
helpful to build the confidence.
In other words
in
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
they want to speak up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
restriction has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
major barrier.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
provide an opportunity to earn bread and butter to number of individuals which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to raise standard of living.

In contradictory side,
firstly
,
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types to branded clothes, as such clothes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
highly
expensive attires they indulge in illegal activities which lead to adverse impact on society.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nextly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of dresses
are made
of animals and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
demand of individuals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
kill more animals.
As a result
, lot of animals are
Consider using a past participle here: "endangered".
endanger
.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in culture, youngster forget their traditional culture and values and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
conscious that are painful for elders who are
deeply
attached with their culture.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
performs a major role in development of nation as it provides employment to number of persons and assist to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in standard of living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
demerits can not
be overlooked
.
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IELTS essay Wearing fashionable clothes is becoming important todays. Is the attitude to wearing fashionable clothes leading to positive or negative development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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