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Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters Do you agree or disagree v.3

Poorer nations from time to time experience natural disasters that are devastating to these countries and adversely affect the needs of their citizens. I strongly agree that the wealthy countries should assist these poorer nations in whatever way they can so that these people can quickly return to their normal way of life or as normal as it can be. Firstly, wealthy nations like the United States, England and Canada have programs set up like the Red Cross that can quickly come to the aid of these nations not only with goods, but also their services. They can easily airlift goods and persons to help even areas that have been cut off due to landslides and flooding. Secondly, these richer countries can send humanitarian aids through their churches. Most churches have facilities set up that can aid in time of need example the Adventist Youth Department have put in place provisions like food and clothing for distribution in cases such as this. Barrels of these items can be sent to these needy nations so that families especially with small children along with the old can benefit. Lastly but not least, the government of these countries can send their soldiers to assist with the repair of the infrastructure such as roads, bridges and homes. They have skilled persons that are capable of completing these jobs quickly. In concluding, these nations would greatly appreciate the help of these wealthy nations in times of natural disasters as quickly as possible so that they can continue with their normal way of life.
Poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
experience natural disasters that are devastating to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
adversely
affect the needs of their citizens. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should assist these poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in whatever way they can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
quickly
return to their normal way of life or as normal as it can be.

Firstly
, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
like the United States, England and Canada have programs set up like the Red Cross that can
quickly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the aid of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their services. They can
easily
airlift
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and persons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
even areas that have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off due to landslides and flooding.

Secondly
, these richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
humanitarian aids through their churches. Most churches have facilities set up that can aid in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of need example the Adventist Youth Department have put in place provisions like food and clothing for distribution in cases such as this. Barrels of these items can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to these needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that families
especially
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children along with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
can benefit.

Lastly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their soldiers to assist with the repair of the infrastructure such as roads, bridges and homes. They have skilled persons that are capable of completing these jobs
quickly
.

In concluding, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
would
greatly
appreciate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of natural disasters as
quickly
as possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can continue with their normal way of life.
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IELTS essay Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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