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We should follow our childhood dreams to find career happiness.

We should follow our childhood dreams to find career happiness. x87RQ
Job is the basic requirement in the cutting edge era. When I was child, I dreamed about the job of a doctor as I perceive that this job provide me internal satisfaction and it is a good way to understand the pain of other people. Further, in my adult period, I took the medical course and started learning about the human body. I did my best and I got the theoretical and practical cognizance about the field of doctor. So, in this way I fulfill my childhood dream. According to my perception, there are numerous things such as parental support, finance are also require in dream fulfillment.
Job is the basic requirement in the cutting edge era. When I was child, I dreamed about the job of a doctor as I perceive that
The verb 'provide' is plural. Did you mean: "this job provides"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this job provide
me internal satisfaction and it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to understand the pain of other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Further
, in my adult period, I took the medical course and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
learning about the human body. I did my best and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the theoretical and practical cognizance about the field of doctor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in this way I fulfill my childhood dream. According to my perception, there are numerous things such as parental support, finance are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "required".
require
in dream fulfillment.
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IELTS essay We should follow our childhood dreams to find career happiness.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
107 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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