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We can not help everyone in the world that needs help,so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries.

We can not help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. MMWPq
Some people belive that we need to focus on an effect to make our own communities and countries better rather than try to help the whole world. I strongly disagree with the idea that we should not be interested in other countries difficulties and this essay analayzes my viewpoint. First of all, it is important to help our neighbours and fellow citizens. We could not spend help to other continents before we create facilities for our own communities. So, firstly if we upgrade our population's living standarts, they would try to help the goveronment in order spend support too. There are so many opportunities to become volunteer. For example: someone might give his clothes which are not worn or somebody could cook meal and others could do some donation. I bellive that such kind of collections could provide one poor country. Secondly, nowadays, there are close and strong relationship between majority of countries. This friendship is a result of helplessness from each other. To gather with this recently this occasion we could see clearly, especially in the Pandemia period. You know at that time most countries' economy fall dawn at unprecented level. Such kind of hard time each country triedto supply from each other with a varity of recourses: food, medicine, clothes and so on. In addition, our country, Uzbekistan received support from a range of continents too and tried to spend its help. I think that process could consolidate their connection. In conclusion, it is true that we can not help everyone, but in my opinion national front-guards should not stop us from helping those who are in need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that we need to focus on an effect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
communities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
better
rather
than try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the whole world. I
strongly
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that we should not
be interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
difficulties and this essay
Possible spelling mistake found.
analayzes
my viewpoint.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
our
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and fellow citizens. We could not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
continents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we create facilities for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
communities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
firstly
if we upgrade our population's living
Possible spelling mistake found.
standarts
, they would try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goveronment
in order spend support too. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to become volunteer.
For example
: someone might give his clothes which are not worn or somebody could cook meal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
could do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
donation. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
bellive
that such kind of collections could provide one poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Secondly
, nowadays, there are close and strong relationship between
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This friendship is a result of helplessness from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. To gather with this recently this occasion we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
clearly
,
especially
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pandemia
period. You know at that time most countries' economy fall dawn at
Possible spelling mistake found.
unprecented
level. Such kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Possible spelling mistake found.
triedto
supply from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
with a
Possible spelling mistake found.
varity
of recourses: food, medicine, clothes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In addition
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, Uzbekistan received support from a range of continents too and tried to spend its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that process could consolidate their connection.
In conclusion
, it is true that we can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion national front-guards should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
us from helping those who are in need.
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IELTS essay We can not help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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