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We are living in consumerist culture, where people are buying more and more things. Some people say that this is a positive development, whereas others believe that it has many drawbacks. Do you think the disadvantages of consumerism outweigh its advantages?

We are living in consumerist culture, where people are buying more and more things. Some people say that this is a positive development, whereas others believe that it has many drawbacks. Do you think the disadvantages of consumerism outweigh its advantages? gxA5l
Nowaday, rise of consumerism is impacting the developing world and I totally agree that consumerist culture had more drawbacks over benefits. To embark with, the advantage of capitalism. The biggest benefit gained is by economy. To put it in a simple words, as people spend more on buying products it will lead to more production and creates more jobs. Moreover, wages increases and that brings financial stability in middle class family. In contrary to this, debt is one of the result of consumerism. In other words, to meet up the materialistic standard people often take loan from bank or purchase using credit card become more frequent and usually end up reaching the card limit. This directly affects the health due to stress of clearing the mortgage. Secondly, environment degrades immensely as the manufacturing demand grows, the natural resources are consumed heedlessly. Due to use of chemical substances and discarding the waste on land and air which results into pollution. In conclusion, consumerist culture has its own pros such as it improves living standard of people and growth rate of nation. however, the harmful results truly dominate its usefulness
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowaday
, rise of consumerism is impacting the developing world and I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that consumerist culture had more drawbacks over benefits. To embark with, the advantage of capitalism. The biggest benefit gained is by economy. To put it in a simple words, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend more on buying products it will lead to more production and creates more jobs.
Moreover
, wages increases and that brings financial stability in middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family. In contrary to this, debt is one of the result of consumerism.
In other words
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up the materialistic standard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take loan from bank or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
using credit card become more frequent and
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up reaching the card limit. This
directly
affects the health due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of clearing the mortgage.
Secondly
, environment degrades
immensely
as the manufacturing demand grows, the natural resources
are consumed
heedlessly
. Due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of chemical substances and discarding the waste on land and air which results into pollution.

In conclusion
, consumerist culture has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros such as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
living standard of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and growth rate of nation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, the harmful results
truly
dominate its usefulness
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IELTS essay We are living in consumerist culture, where people are buying more and more things. Some people say that this is a positive development, whereas others believe that it has many drawbacks. Do you think the disadvantages of consumerism outweigh its advantages?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
187 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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