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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. Is it a good thing or should we be suspicious of their benefits?

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. Is it a good thing or should we be suspicious of their benefits? aAYm7
We are living in a modern world, where, we cannot imagine our life with out the existence of computers. The importance of computers are now being considered and equated to food, shelter and other necessities of life. In this Corona infected world, the thing which has connected us together are computers only. There are more of benefits of being in a society, dependent on computers, rather than society suspicious on the computers benefits. The first reason is, computers have so far not been programmed to be bias or partial. They treat every body by a single yard stick. This fact makes the computer driven results more trustworthy and more reliable. The second reason is, they are fast and accurate. The situation might be complex, however the computer provides the results in no time. The third reason is, a large amount can be stored and kept safely, with out any sort of risk of manipulation in the data. Life with out computers is not imaginable, whether we are talking about kids or an adult. Life is too much dependent on the computers, however its a healthy dependency, which saves too much of your productive time.
We are living in a modern world, where, we cannot imagine our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
the existence of computers. The importance of computers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being considered
and equated to food, shelter and other necessities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this Corona infected world, the thing which has connected us together are computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. There are more of benefits of being in a society, dependent on computers,
rather
than society suspicious on the computers benefits. The
first
reason is, computers have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far not
been programmed
to be bias or partial. They treat every body by a single yard stick. This fact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the computer driven results more trustworthy and more reliable. The second reason is, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and accurate. The situation might be complex,
however
the computer provides the results in no time.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
third reason is, a large amount can
be stored
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
safely
,
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
any sort of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of manipulation in the data.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
computers is not imaginable, whether we are talking about kids or an adult.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is too much dependent on the computers,
however
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a healthy dependency, which saves too much of your productive time.
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IELTS essay We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. Is it a good thing or should we be suspicious of their benefits?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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