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waste money to save endangered species

waste money to save endangered species yGN6E
Nowadays, Many people feel that we are pay of their money for help some endangered animal, such as, the tiger or the whale. I absolutely agree with this question that we give some money for save this animals, so this essay will supporting my opinions. To beginning, some centers are responsible for saving animals that in dangerous situations. while they do not have enough money for supporting them about they do not have money to animal caretaker provide enough care for animals they need to close supervision or some center has a small and limited area. So that does not correspond to the figure of animals. For example. In Thailand that have some places that were Slaughterhouse or dairy farm, so there will be redemption of the life of milk cow. They give reasoned that after the milk cows are unable to give milk. They are useless in the business and if they raise only expenses, or some people do not want to kill them but they do not have money to be able to feed them to death. Next one, that about enormous wildfire in USA on 3 August 2020. It had a lot of animals that lived in the Jungle that escaped from the forest. Many animals have been injured in this case. That's why they helped raise money to opened more animal rescue because the budget for these animals was not enough. In conclude, While a little of our money that might be able to save the lives of animal. so I think we should waste some money for help endangered animal because they have the same life as us.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that we are pay of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
, such as, the tiger or the whale. I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this question that we give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for save
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "support"
supporting
my opinions.

To beginning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
centers are responsible for saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for supporting them about they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
caretaker provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
care for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
they need to close supervision or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
center has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and limited area.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
does not correspond to the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
.

In Thailand that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places that were Slaughterhouse or dairy farm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there will be redemption of the life of milk cow. They give reasoned that after the milk cows are unable to give milk. They are useless in the business and if they raise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
expenses, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not want to kill them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to be able to feed them to death.

Next
one, that about enormous wildfire
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
on 3 August 2020. It had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the Jungle that escaped from the forest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have
been injured
in this case
. That's why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to opened more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rescue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the budget for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

In conclude, While a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that might be able to save the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the same life as us.
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IELTS essay waste money to save endangered species

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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