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Some people think that children are wasting their time reading books and their time should be better spent on other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children are wasting their time reading books and their time should be better spent on other activities. 8xQXB
People have different views about that children who spend a lot of moment reading books are wasting their time which could be better to take part in other activities. In my point of view, I do not completely disagree with the statement that has given. First of all, reading books bring a huge of benefit for teenagers. Youngster have a lot of chance to comprehend new things about the social life. Most of all manuscripts have content which relates to practical life of someone who writes that book. Thus, reader can imagine their being, be taken to whatever place they can not go, meet some people they can not meet through reading a book. It may also make children’s brain more creative and resourceful. In addition, reading books have a connection with people’s academic achievements. Adolescants may not need to prepare for school’s tests as they can almost grasp knowledge from books. Their bank of vocabulary will be developed. Hence, they are able to impove their verbal and linguistic skills as well as communicating ability that helps them to gain a various of opportunities in their maturation period. In contrast, there are some potential drawback when children just pay their attention to books. Despite accquire an enoumous advantages of mental in puberty life, young people may not be trained physical powers. Sitting and reading regularly will reduce their flexibility, make them more unactive. To sum up, children should not be obliged to read book only or take part in other activities but their parents need give their hand in balancing teenagers’ mental progress and physical improvement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
moment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are wasting their time which could be better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in other activities. In my point of view, I do not completely disagree with the statement that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
bring
The phrase 'a huge of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a huge of
benefit for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Youngster
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
chance to comprehend new things about the social life. Most of all manuscripts have content which relates to practical life of someone who writes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Thus
, reader can imagine their being,
be taken
to whatever place they can not go,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. It may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
brain more creative and resourceful.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have a connection with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
academic achievements.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Adolescants
may not need to prepare for school’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
as they can almost grasp knowledge from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Their bank of vocabulary will
be developed
.
Hence
, they are able to
Possible spelling mistake found.
impove
their verbal and linguistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as communicating ability that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to gain
The phrase 'a various of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a various of
opportunities in their maturation period.

In contrast
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential drawback when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pay their attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Despite
Possible spelling mistake found.
accquire
an
Possible spelling mistake found.
enoumous
advantages of mental in puberty life, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not
be trained
physical powers. Sitting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
regularly
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their flexibility,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more
Possible spelling mistake found.
unactive
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
be obliged
to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in other activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their parents need give their hand in balancing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’ mental progress and physical improvement.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children are wasting their time reading books and their time should be better spent on other activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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