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Warmth of suns and the sea

Warmth of suns and the sea YBBej
9am in the southern beach, the smell of your salty wet hair was drying up I miss the breeze of air caressing my cheek in atop of the hill while looking down at the city view, you were screaming and I was laughing at you I miss the smile that was some kind of sign for "everything will be" fine even though they are not I miss the footstep of you followed suit behind me, made sure I was safe to the parking lot I missed our midnight chat when I hoped that you will always be my friend, somehow you disagree I miss our laughter when our time together seems will never end, but then it did I miss the feeling of joy every time you said to me to be strong, and by the time I did, we grew apart I miss being each other best friends, but you always see me as more than friends I miss denying my feelings for you because I think you were better off without me I miss all of those, while all I can do now is to watch you with her
9am in the southern beach, the smell of your salty wet hair was drying up

I miss the breeze of air caressing my cheek in atop of the hill while looking down at the city view, you were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
screaming and
I was laughing at you

I miss the smile that was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
for
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
everything will be
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
fine
even though
they are not

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
miss the footstep of you followed suit behind me, made sure I was safe to the parking lot

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
missed our midnight chat when I hoped that you will always be my friend, somehow you disagree

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
miss our laughter when our time together seems will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then it did

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
miss the feeling of joy every time you said to me to be strong, and by the time I did, we grew apart

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
miss being each other best friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
me as more than friends

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
miss denying my feelings for you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you were better off without me

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
miss all of those, while all I can do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
you with her
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IELTS essay Warmth of suns and the sea

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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