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Walking is known to be beneficial for health, yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to address this problem? v.1

Walking is known to be beneficial for health, yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to address this problem? v. 1
Although walking possesses significant beneficial impact on health, few people adopt this activity. The lack of time and laziness are the main reason of not doing this activity. This issue can be curbed by creating awareness among masses and rewarding them to motivate for such activities. In this competitive era everyone is trying to uplift his economic status. Owing to this behaviour, they cannot allocate specific time for walking. As an illustration, my grandfather, a well known business man in his town, had to work for long hours. He had to eat, while attending meetings. Hence, no time was left for walking. Not only the lack of time, but laziness is the major contributing factor that stop people to walk. To illustrate, the younger generation tends to sit on the couch rather than going out with friends for a walk. Therefore, laziness and scarcity of time are the reason for sedentary life style. This problem can be addressed by creating awareness in the general population with the help of the media. For example, the government of Pakistan is promoting healthy activities with the help of eminent actors. Furthermore, children can be motivated by their families to walk by rewarding them with gifts. Thus, creation of awareness and motivation, help people choose healthy activities. To conclude, walking has a huge positive impact on our health. Despite being beneficial less people do this activity. The scarcity of time and lazy nature of the young generation are the main reasons. This issue can be solved by creating awareness and motivation among people.
Although walking possesses significant beneficial impact on health, few
people
adopt this
activity
. The lack of
time
and laziness are the main reason of not doing this
activity
. This issue can
be curbed
by creating
awareness
among masses and rewarding them to motivate for such activities.

In this competitive era everyone is trying to uplift his economic status. Owing to this
behaviour
, they cannot allocate specific
time
for walking. As an illustration, my grandfather, a well known business
man
in his town, had to work for long hours. He had to eat, while attending meetings.
Hence
, no
time
was
left
for walking. Not
only
the lack of
time
,
but
laziness is the major contributing factor that
stop
people
to walk. To illustrate, the younger generation tends to sit on the couch
rather
than going out with friends for a walk.
Therefore
, laziness and scarcity of
time
are the reason for sedentary life style.

This problem can
be addressed
by creating
awareness
in the general population with the
help
of the media.
For example
, the
government
of Pakistan is promoting healthy
activities
with the
help
of eminent actors.
Furthermore
, children can
be motivated
by their families to walk by rewarding them with gifts.
Thus
, creation of
awareness
and motivation,
help
people
choose healthy activities.

To conclude
, walking has a huge
positive
impact on our health. Despite being beneficial
less
people
do this
activity
. The scarcity of
time
and lazy nature of the young generation are the main reasons. This issue can
be solved
by creating
awareness
and motivation among
people
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Walking is known to be beneficial for health, yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to address this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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