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VTDL YEU6E6ELUL LTUDLD UDLD YYLY;IY;DYI D;YY; IFIFYIFYIFYIFI

VTDL YEU6E6ELUL LTUDLD UDLD YYLY; IY; DYI D; YY; IFIFYIFYIFYIFI k5mJK
There has been a controversial opinion on whether should the retirement age be extended since humans are living much longer than before. In my point of view, this matter has both advantage and disadvantage sides. As people’s age has increased, their physical strength at that age has improved compares to people from the past in the same age group. Therefore, it is understandable for the need to increase working age. Moreover, some people in the retirement age still have to support family finance; as a result, working is an inevitable choice for them. For example, some countries do not provide pensions for the elderly; consequently, if they don’t have insurance or help from their children, they won’t have any source of income to sustain lives. On the other hand, retirement should be an option for people. While some people still have the urge to work, there might be another person who chooses to be retired from jobs. For instance, people who have a wealthy possession might be keener on the idea of not having compulsory works as they have the competence to continue lives on their own. Or there are other cases as the elderly can rely on their younger and have no worries toward lives. In conclusion, I assume that retirement should be an option for people from that certain age and extend working age should be discussed more considerably.
There has been a controversial opinion on whether should the
retirement
age
be extended
since humans are living much longer than
before
. In my point of view, this matter has both advantage and disadvantage sides.

As
people’s
age
has increased, their physical strength at that
age
has
improved
compares to
people
from the past in the same
age
group.
Therefore
, it is understandable for the need to increase working
age
.
Moreover
,
some
people
in the
retirement
age
still
have to
support family finance;
as a result
, working is an inevitable choice for them.
For example
,
some
countries do not provide pensions for the elderly;
consequently
, if they don’t have insurance or
help
from their children, they won’t have any source of income to sustain
lives
.

On the other hand
,
retirement
should be an option for
people
. While
some
people
still
have the urge to work, there might be another person who chooses to
be retired
from jobs.
For instance
,
people
who have a wealthy possession might be keener on the
idea
of not having compulsory works as they have the competence to continue
lives
on their
own
. Or there are other cases as the elderly can rely on their younger and have no worries toward
lives
.

In conclusion
, I assume that
retirement
should be an option for
people
from that certain
age
and extend working
age
should
be discussed
more
considerably
.
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IELTS essay VTDL YEU6E6ELUL LTUDLD UDLD YYLY; IY; DYI D; YY; IFIFYIFYIFYIFI

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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