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vouluntary work during holidays

vouluntary work during holidays gApj1

Some people think that more students should do voluntary work during long holidays instead of working for money. This is the statement we need to discuss. When you're a student, you have much more time to find yourself in various activities, for example voluntary work. It helps you realize what path in life you want to choose, what makes you happy. Another argument I have is that while volunteering you can find people with similar interests. It's an easy way to find real friends. On the other hand it's not always easy to volunteer. I want to remind you that some families have financial problems and students can help them by working for money. But just because your family is financially stable, doesn't mean that you can't do that too. Working for money will help you get new experience and prepare for the real life which awaits for you in the future. You also begin to understand that money isn't something easily obtained, right? You start to count your income and expenses and it might help you avoid purchasing unnecessary things. In my opinion, both activities have their advantages and disadvantages. You should work for money if you want to gain more life experience, save up to buy something you want or simply help out your family. Otherwise I think you can volunteer which is a great thing to do. Not only it keeps you physically active but your emotional health gets a lot better and gives you the feeling of achievement after volunteering.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 that more students should do voluntary work during long holidays instead
 of working for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
. This is the statement we need to discuss.

When you're a student, you have much more time to find yourself in various activities, for example
 voluntary work. It You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadviceuseservicesupportcomforthand
helps
 you realize what path in life you You use this word too often, consider replacing it withneedwish
want
 to choose, what This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createsconstructsmanufacturesproduces
makes
 you happy. Another argument I have is that while volunteering you can find This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 with similar interests. It's an easy way to find real friends.

On the other hand
 it's not always easy to volunteer. I You use this word too often, consider replacing it withneedwish
want
 to remind you that This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 families have financial problems and students can You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadviceuseservicesupportcomforthand
help
 them by working for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 your family is financially
 stable, doesn't mean that you can't do that too. Working for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
 will You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadviceuseservicesupportcomforthand
help
 you This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 new experience and prepare for the real life which awaits for you in the future. You also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiatecommence
begin
 to understand that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
 isn't something easily
 obtained, right? You This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiate
start
 to count your income and expenses and it might You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadviceuseservicesupportcomforthand
help
 you avoid purchasing unnecessary things.

In my opinion, both activities have their advantages and disadvantages. You should work for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
 if you You use this word too often, consider replacing it withneedwish
want
 to gain more life experience, save up to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :purchase
buy
 something you You use this word too often, consider replacing it withneedwish
want
 or simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadviceuseservicesupportcomforthand
help
 out your family. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Otherwise,
Otherwise
 I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 you can volunteer which is a great thing to do. Not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 it This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retains
keeps
 you physically
 active This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 your emotional health This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquires
gets
 a lot better and gives you the feeling of achievement after volunteering. 