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Violent films have negative impact on children's life . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Violent films have negative impact on children's life. 3WlKm
It is often said that violent shows have impact brutally on individual and often directed them to become cruel. While, other group of thinkers believe that crime was already there before launching of the violent movies. I partially agree to this statement as younger people can be manipulated easily by this type of performance. Although mnay crime reports are there which are being overlooked without any influence of films and movies on them. Across the globe, children and adolescents are the major group who are watching online shows and films. Many of those shows are spreading the information about actions, murder crime. Moreover, by watching them repetitively a child will learn several bad things which are related to crime and violence. For example, there is British show called 'Peaky blinders' it has gained popularity over the globe, children below the age of eighteen are not matured enough to adapt such shows that mainly portrays murders and violence in order to make money. This will leave negative impact on child psychology. In several developing countries, the rural areas are still tend to be endangered as there are no special police force and security to look after. Furthermore, in such places, there are not even facilities of televisions, though th number of crime scenes are highest in rural area. To cite an example, in India some villages and countryside area where women safety is still a moot question, there are many crime happen mainly women rape, murder which has never reported a single FIR. Therefore, In this area violent films were never an influence. Thus, even though children are at risk from watching violent shows, it is not the only source to become violence, many crime reports in several countries are being overlooked in making crime scenes.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have impact
brutally
on individual and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
directed them to become cruel. While, other group of thinkers believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was already there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
launching of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
movies. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement as younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
be manipulated
easily
by this type of performance. Although
Possible spelling mistake found.
mnay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
reports are there which are
being overlooked
without any influence of films and movies on them.

Across the globe, children and adolescents are the major group who are watching online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and films.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are spreading the information about actions, murder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Moreover
, by watching them
repetitively
a child will learn several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things which
are related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and violence.
For example
, there is British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
called '
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Peaky blinders
' it has gained popularity over the globe, children below the age of eighteen are not matured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to adapt such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that
mainly
portrays murders and violence in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on child psychology.

In several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
still
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to
be endangered
as there are no special police force and security to look after.
Furthermore
, in such places, there are not even facilities of televisions, though
Possible spelling mistake found.
th
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
scenes are highest in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. To cite an example, in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
villages and countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
where women safety is
still
a moot question, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
happen
mainly
women rape, murder which has never reported a single FIR.
Therefore
, In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
films were never an influence.

Thus
,
even though
children are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
from watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source to become violence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
reports in several countries are
being overlooked
in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
scenes.
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IELTS essay Violent films have negative impact on children's life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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