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Violence of the social media has a negative influence on society

Nowadays, a few people admit that violence of the social media and in video games cause society damage. While others have different believes in this issue as they reject that these factors have an effect on people attitude. I suppose that media have a negative imfluence on people's behavior. Firstly, i think that facebook and instegram generate jealousy and malevolance. This is happening because the influencers share their positive and beautiful sides of there lives, such as: posting pictures of their trips, hence the person who see all these vibes he/she will start to compare his/her live to influencer's live, under these circumstances they will feel depressed and acquire negative feeling which make them to practice violence on others. Secondly, from my experience that social media affect not only children but also adults behavior as it diminish the social activity and communication between family members will be affect so, they will become introvertors. In other words, when the suicidal seens or murderer seens watched by children they will start acquiring virulent ideas while they have nobody to share their thoughts as the mother have no time to talk with her kids because, she is spending her time on facebook or instegram therefore ending up commiting suicide. Moreover, the video games and yotube have a negative influence on the cognitive skills of youngers. As a result, their preformance in school will be retarded and they won't be able to figure the wrong thoughts. In conclusion, by taking everything in to consideration it is clear that television, mobiles, laptops and social media creat cruelty and jealousy between people so this will harm the society.
Nowadays, a few
people
admit that violence of the
social
media
and in video games cause society damage. While others have
different
believes
in this issue as they reject that these factors have an effect on
people
attitude. I suppose that
media
have a
negative
imfluence
on
people
's behavior.
Firstly
,
i
think
that
facebook
and
instegram
generate jealousy and
malevolance
. This is happening
because
the influencers share their
positive
and
beautiful
sides of
there
lives
, such as: posting pictures of their trips,
hence
the person who
see
all these vibes he/she will
start
to compare his/her
live
to influencer's
live
,
under these circumstances
they will feel depressed and acquire
negative
feeling which
make
them to practice violence on others.
Secondly
, from my experience that
social
media
affect not
only
children
but
also
adults behavior as it diminish the
social
activity and communication between family members will be affect
so
, they will become
introvertors
.
In other words
, when the suicidal
seens
or murderer seens
watched
by children they will
start
acquiring virulent
ideas
while they have nobody to share their thoughts as the mother have no time to talk with her kids
because
, she is spending her time on
facebook
or
instegram
therefore
ending up
commiting
suicide.
Moreover
, the video games and
yotube
have a
negative
influence on the cognitive
skills
of
youngers
.
As a result
, their
preformance
in school will be
retarded and
they won't be able to figure the
wrong
thoughts.
In conclusion
, by taking everything in to consideration it is
clear
that television, mobiles, laptops and
social
media
creat
cruelty and jealousy between
people
so
this will harm the society.
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IELTS essay Violence of the social media has a negative influence on society

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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