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violence, child, punishment agree disgree?

violence, child, punishment agree disgree? 55rnN
Children should be taught about moral values and how to distinguish right from wrong at an early age. Some claim that punishment is an important element of this process. I moderately agree with this statement as punishment has positive effects in instilling discipline, however, careful consideration should be given to the effects of the methods chosen. Corporal harm, for example, must be avoided under all circumstances while limiting access to favorite items like cell phones could be opted for. Negative reinforcement is an essential part of education. It provides useful insights into the recent activities and structures of future behavior. If, for example, a fifteen-year-old is not punished for cyberbullying, he or she might be motivated to continue such actions as young people do not fully understand the consequences of their crimes. Yet, punishing them corporally would traumatize the little culprit and could lead them to see violence as a solution. Punishment is necessary to show that the wrongdoing is not acceptable, and focus on cultivating the right reaction rather than punishing. In order to ensure that, parents and teachers have to make smart choices. Methods chosen should convey the message without harming the child physically or psychologically. Restricting them from using the mean they used to commit the offense, like taking telephones for a period in the case of wrong internet use or grounding if fought with a friend, could be useful in such occasions. In addition, children should be given time alone to think about what they did, and they should be allowed to express themselves in a consulting session with an experienced professional. In summary, the right method of punishment could help youth to understand their misdemeanor and to correct their behavior. While punishing, no harm should be caused for the offender, type of punishment should be specific to crime, and children should be given the chance to reflect.
Children should
be taught
about moral values and how to distinguish right from
wrong
at an early age.
Some
claim that
punishment
is an
important
element of this process. I
moderately
agree
with this statement as
punishment
has
positive
effects in instilling discipline,
however
, careful consideration should be
given
to the effects of the methods chosen. Corporal harm,
for example
,
must
be avoided
under all circumstances while limiting access to favorite items like cell phones could
be opted
for.

Negative
reinforcement is an essential part of education. It provides useful insights into the recent activities and structures of future behavior. If,
for example
, a fifteen-year-
old
is not punished for cyberbullying, he or she might
be motivated
to continue such actions as young
people
do not
fully
understand the consequences of their crimes.
Yet
, punishing them
corporally
would traumatize the
little
culprit and could lead them to
see
violence as a solution.
Punishment
is necessary to
show
that the wrongdoing is not acceptable, and focus on cultivating the right reaction
rather
than punishing.

In order to ensure that, parents and teachers
have to
make
smart choices. Methods chosen should convey the message without harming the child
physically
or
psychologically
. Restricting them from using the mean they
used
to commit the offense, like taking telephones for a period in the case of
wrong
internet
use
or grounding if fought with a friend, could be useful in such occasions.
In addition
, children should be
given
time alone to
think
about what they did, and they should be
allowed
to express themselves in a consulting session with an experienced professional.

In summary, the right method of
punishment
could
help
youth to understand their misdemeanor and to correct their behavior. While punishing, no harm should
be caused
for the offender, type of
punishment
should be specific to crime, and children should be
given
the chance to reflect.
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IELTS essay violence, child, punishment agree disgree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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