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Many people believe that art is not as important for children’s future as other subjects such as Math or English. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that art is not as important for children’s future as other subjects such as Math or English. N82oy
It is argued that art is not essential than other practical subjects such as Math or English for children’s future. This essay agree that art is also an important for childen in future but it also has some drawbacks which will be discussed in the essay below. On the one hand, it is reasonable that the other subjects such as Math or English are more important than art for children to develop in future. Firstly, studying art can waste time of both children and their parents. They can spend time to learn science or laguage subjects which bring some benefits for them in the future because there are many jobs that require these certifications. Secondly, there are not many career related to art which can lead to successful. For example, some artists still stuggle to make a living from selling their work of art. On the other hand, there are two main reasons that art can also essential with children's future. Firstly, studying art help relieve all kind of stress after pressure hours from practical subjects. Although, in the future, they can use art as a stress reliever by drawing or attending to a dance lesson. Secondly, art can improve performance in other subjects or in future work. For example, they can apply the creativity of art in their presentations which can clearly express idea they want to convey to other people. In conlusion, it is true that Math and English are impotant subjects, but in my opinion art also have some advantages for children’s future.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not
Use "(essential)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
essential
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as Math or English for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. This essay
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "agrees".
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
childen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which will
be discussed
in the essay below.

On the one hand, it is reasonable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as Math or English are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Firstly
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can waste time of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their parents. They can spend time to learn science or
Possible spelling mistake found.
laguage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs that require these certifications.
Secondly
, there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
career related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
which can lead to successful.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
artists
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
stuggle
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living from selling their work of art.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are two main reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can
also
essential with children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Firstly
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
relieve all kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after pressure hours from practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Although, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
reliever by drawing or attending to a dance lesson.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
performance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
or in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
work.
For example
, they can apply the creativity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in their presentations which can
clearly
express
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
they want to convey to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conlusion
, it is true that Math and English are
Possible spelling mistake found.
impotant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that art is not as important for children’s future as other subjects such as Math or English.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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