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Video games should be banned as it is harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Video games should be banned as it is harmful for children. MrVYq
Many people argue that video should be prohibited because of its negative effects for children. Personally, I partially agree that video games have several bad influences but it should not be forbidden. As video games have advantages for the comprehensive development of children. On the one hand, there are many disadvantages of video games which are toxic for children. First, video games can make people neglect the study journey due to the temptation provided. It is clear that people who are attracted and appealed by video games will have less time to study theoretically and have practical experiences, thus lowering their academic achievement. Secondly, playing games regularly will have some bad influences on their health. To be more specific, people who spend too much time glued to the screen of electronic devices will suffer from some diseases like obesity or short-sightedness while the disconnection from the society will make them feel lonely and sometimes angry with someone who they loved. Despite all the reasons I have mentioned above, I still support the fact that video games should not be forbidden because of their positive influences. To begin with, video games allow people to have more social interactions and improve human connection. To be more specific, people who have the same common interests and hobbies can get on well with each other and support their acquaintances thus creating a community of their own and having a meaningful life. Another reason is that violent games and films also help people improve their problem-solving skills. For example, some games like League of Legends or Pubg are designed to improve their cognition and also help them create their own strategies to achieve higher levels and ranks. In conclusion, it seems to me that video games should not be prevented because these games bring several benefits for the improvement of children
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Many
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people
argue that
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video
should
be prohibited
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because
of its
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negative
effects for children.
Personally
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
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video
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games
have several
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bad
influences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not
be forbidden
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have advantages for the comprehensive development of children.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which are toxic for children.
First
,
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
neglect the study journey due to the temptation provided. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are attracted
and appealed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will have less time to study
theoretically
and have practical experiences,
thus
lowering their academic achievement.
Secondly
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
regularly
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influences on their health. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend too much time glued to the screen of electronic devices will suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases like obesity or
Possible spelling mistake found.
short-sightedness
while the disconnection from the society will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel lonely and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
angry with someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
.

Despite all the reasons I have mentioned above, I
still
support the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
should not
be forbidden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have more social interactions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
human connection. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have the same common interests and hobbies can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on well with each other and support their acquaintances
thus
creating a community of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and having a meaningful life. Another reason is that violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and films
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like League of Legends or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pubg
are designed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their cognition and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strategies to achieve higher levels and ranks.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
bring several benefits for the improvement of children
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IELTS essay Video games should be banned as it is harmful for children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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