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Video games industry is getting more and more common.

Video games industry is getting more and more common. PLl3w
In this day and age, Video games industry is getting more and more common. Due to that development, many people are adapting and accessing to the computers to play video games, including children. Others argue that this could lead to some disadvantages in the future. In this essay, I will illustrate advantages and disadvantages of this trend. On the first hand, nowadays, playing video games can be deemed as one of the best ways to relieve their depression. For instance, thanks to the creativity of game corporations, many producers have produced various types of games, such as Strategy, puzzle and FPS which means First Person Shooting. Therefore, people can entertain and unwind after hard work at their companies. Secondly, video games have ability to educate children via some games which are appropriate at their ages. For example, in Europe, some schools are applying a new special method, which let students play video games. By using this measure, the students effectively improve their productivity in studying. On the contrary, there are some disadvantages that video games could bring to the players. Firstable, this trend could lead people who spend a lot of times playing game to Myopia, which reduces the eyes conditions of people. Moreover, spending time playing video games could cause gaming addictions to the people. Secondly, another impact of video games is that some games have violent concepts which definitely influence people's thoughts, such as Grand Theft Auto game series. In conclusion, i opine that although video games have some worse disadvantages, it still has some advantages, which can educate people.
In this day and age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
industry is getting more and more common. Due to that development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are adapting and accessing to the computers to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, including children. Others argue that this could lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages in the future. In this essay, I will illustrate advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

On the
first
hand, nowadays, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
be deemed
as one of the best ways to relieve their depression.
For instance
, thanks to the creativity of game corporations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
producers have produced various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, such as Strategy, puzzle and FPS which means
First
Person Shooting.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can entertain and unwind after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have ability to educate children via
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which are appropriate at their ages.
For example
, in Europe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools are applying a new special method, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
students play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. By using this measure, the students
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their productivity in studying.

On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could bring to the players.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Firstable
, this trend could lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
times playing game to Myopia, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the eyes conditions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, spending time playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could cause gaming addictions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
, another impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have violent concepts which definitely influence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's thoughts, such as Grand Theft Auto game series.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
opine that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
worse disadvantages, it
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, which can educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Video games industry is getting more and more common.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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