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Video games have negative effect on children. Do you agree or disagree?

Video games have negative effect on children. XVXYN
These days most of the children are playing video games which have some negative effects on them. On the one hand, it has an impact on their behavior and thoughts, what is clear is that many video games involve violence actions and they don’t have any rule for punishing the person which is not acceptable in real life, so that children who cannot recognizes bad things and good things, might not considered it as a bad thing.
These days most of the children are playing video games which have
some
negative
effects on them. On the one hand, it has an impact on their behavior and thoughts, what is
clear
is that
many
video games involve violence
actions and
they don’t have any
rule
for punishing the person which is not acceptable in real life,
so
that children who cannot recognizes
bad
things and
good
things, might not
considered
it as a
bad
thing.
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IELTS essay Video games have negative effect on children.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
77 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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